"Catherine look at me." He says, and I groan, rolling over onto my back. Not just because he told me too, but I was starting to suffocate a little bit.
"Tell me what's you're thinking," he whispers, laying on his side and looking at me, "Tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing's wrong, Ashton," I sigh, continuing to look at the ceiling in the dark room. "I'm just a little scared, okay?"
"Why are you scared?"
"I don't know," I sigh, running my hands over my face before letting them fall to my sides, "Its nothing, I'm fine."
"Catherine please tell me," he says, "I want to help."
I groan again, knowing he won't give up. Maybe I'll take Krista's advice for once and actually tell him how I feel. Hopefully, it won't scare him off.
"I'm worried, okay?" I give in, "I'm 17 years old and never had anyone like me before. I just don't know why you do. Like, what changed?"
"I don't know, I just think it's weird. I don't think you understand, no one liked me. No one even thought of liking me," I sigh, "I trust you, Ashton. I have no reason not too. I've never been hurt before. I've never been in a bad breakup where I was emotionally wrecked and had a hatred towards anyone with a penis. I'm just confused. I'm really confused."
"I don't know why no one took the opportunity to be with you," Ashton says, finally stopping me from rambling, "You're the best girl I've ever known. You're funny, you're beautiful, you're just so freaking adorable. Anyone in their right mind would know that."
I don't answer, mostly because I guess I just don't believe him.
"And I know you think I'm just telling you that to just tell you that, and I don't know why you don't take my complements because I really mean them."
"I want to believe you," I whisper, "Its just my entire life I've never been told those things, and I don't know how to react to that."
"That's okay," he says, "I just want you too know that it's true. I want you too know that I really like you. I want you to be mine, Cat."
"I don't know how to do that," I say, looking over towards him, "I've never been anyone's girlfriend. I don't know how to be one, I'll probably suck at it."
"That's okay too," Ashton says, "Cat, I've only had two other girlfriends, and I've never felt the way I feel about you. I want to be with you, I want too teach you. I want you too let me treat you the way you've deserved for so long but no one was smart enough to catch you."
I don't know how to respond too that at all. No one has ever told me anything like this before. I've always felt so alone, and this is a whole new feeling.
"I can picture myself with you for a long time, Cat," he continues, "Please let me."
"Okay." I whisper, because lord knows that Ashton is the best guy I've ever met. And I'm willing to try.
"Good," he smiles, leaning forward and pressing his lips gently to mine. I turn on my side and let my hand run through his hair at the nape of his neck.
"Go to sleep, babe," Ashton says, keeping his face still close to mine, "Ill be here in the morning."
I nod, and he pulls me practically on him, entangling our legs. I place my head and hand on his chest, before closing my eyes and drifting to sleep with a smile on my face.
"Kitten?" Calum snaps his fingers in front of my face, "You good?"
"Oh," I look down at my burger, "Yeah, I'm fine, I was just thinking."
He nods, taking a bite of his own food in silence.
It's been a little over a week since the incident, if that's even the right word for it, and I'm kinda regaining myself.
I'm trying really hard to move on from it because I have so little time with Calum before he goes back, but now I'm starting to regret breaking it off with Ashton.
I shake my head of thoughts of him, turning my attention to Calum, "So when exactly do you leave again?"
He swallows a bite of his salad, because he's been training more and more, "I leave two weeks from tomorrow."
I nod, two weeks. That's really soon.
"It's going to be okay," he says, "I'll be home before you know it."
"8 months is not before you know it," I sigh, "I'm going to miss you like hell, you know."
"I know," he smiles at me, "I'm going to miss you too."
I roll my eyes, letting a slight laugh out.
"I wanted to give you something," he says, crumpling his napkin and putting it on his plate.
"Why?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows.
"Because," he holds onto my hands, "You are my best friend, Kitten. I don't know how, but you somehow managed to make me be a good dude who wants to help people. And I just uh- I want to give you something to remember me."
"Remember you?" I asked, shocked, "Calum you will come back, you will be okay, do you hear me? I am not letting you say this."
"Believe me, I hate thinking like this," he shakes his head, "But I know what it's like out there. I know how easy it is for everything to change and I want you to know."
"I do know," I argue, "I know that you could die out there, but I don't want to know. I don't want to think about you being out there lying on the ground-" I close my eyes, before taking a deep breath, "I don't want to know about that."
He reaches under his shirt and pulls something out from around his neck and holds it out in front of him, "Here. I want you to have them."
"Your dog tags?" I question, "Don't you need them?"
"I have a few pairs," He shakes his head, "Just take them, please."
I grip the tags in my hands, holding them close to my chest, "Thank you, Calum."
ok yes I used a flashback from risks bc I miss cat and ash alright
ugh I love calum in this too if I could I would make this a cal and cat thing but it's weird and I'm in Calums lane rn so my judgment isn't dependable right now
but thank you for the inspiration you know who you are bitch
