*one month later*
I'm so fucking dumb.
I can't fucking stand it anymore. I tried moving along. I tried going out with Ronnie, someone who I have had feelings for in the past. But I just fucking can't do it. I can't move on. I would rather have Grace lie to me and tell me she loves me than except that she is with Michael.
I'm so sick of being the nice guy. I lost the girl I have loved more than anyone. I'm pissed. They're getting married. She is getting married and here I am, dreaming about it being me at the end of the isle instead of him.
The fact that they're waiting to actually get married only makes me want her more. It has gotten to the point where engaged isn't married so therefore I still have a shot. How fucking sad is that.
I need to see her. I don't care if she kicks me out or if Michael punches me in the face. I need to see her.
I'm a mess. I can't stop crying. I'm like a child who was told their puppy died, I feel like I can't catch my breath.
I get into Grace's apartment building, luckily not seeing a single person as I stumble into the elevator a sobbing mess.
When I knock on the door, I'm relieved that Grace is the one who opens the door, but my heart breaks even more every time I see her.
"Luke," her voice fills with worry, "Oh my God, come in. Come on." She leads me into her apartment, the place I felt like was home for a short amount of time. She leads me straight up into her room, but I don't think about it. All I can think about is her hands on my arm, the familiar sensation I miss so much.
She closes the door and I sit on her bed, my head in my hands, "Luke, what's going on?"
I don't answer right away, trying to calm my breathing. "I think you're having an anxiety attack, Luke," She says, her hands now taking mine from my face and holding them. I look into her eyes, her big, green, concerned, beautiful eyes, and I lose all sense of... well... everything. I can't even think.
I stand up, her doing the same, and I pull her into my arms. I hold onto her incredibly tight, her arms doing the same. "Luke, you gotta tell me what's going on."
I bury my face into her neck, her arms wrapped around me, in between my leather jacket and white shirt.
"I miss you," I say into her neck, expecting her to pull away. But she doesn't, "I miss you so fucking much, Grace."
Her arms stay wrapped tightly against me, and I can't help but word vomit, "I'm a horrible person for even coming here, but I love you, Grace."
I can feel her breathing heavily against my chest, so I continue to hold onto her tightly, "I know that you are happy with Michael."
There is a long pause, her silence louder than if she were to scream at me to leave.
"I'm not."
What?
I pull away from her, her eyes glassy, "I'm such a bad person, Luke."
I'm so confused. Yeah, this past month I haven't been with her much. It hurt to badly. But I thought they were happy. I thought she was happy.
"I'm not happy," She sniffles, but not crying, "I don't know what to do."
I'm stunned. I don't know how to react. Half of me wants to jump around the room and kiss her, but the other half of me needs to sit with her and have her tell me everything. I think the second choice is the best option.
I step away from her, closing my eyes and shaking my head, confused, "What?"
She sighs, gesturing towards her bed. I sit.
"So, um," she sighs, "Christ, I can't believe I'm talking to you about this."
"What's happening?" I ask, kinda towards her so she can tell me what's happening between her and Michael but mainly to myself because I have no idea what the fuck is going on. I came here with the expectation she was going to tell me I can't do this, that I should be with Ronnie, that she loves Michael, literally anything but this.
"Okay," she takes a deep breath, "Michael and I have been arguing a lot," she says, "And thats not really anything new, we argue all the time, but recently, I feel like that's all we do. And it always feels like he just doesn't care."
Am I being my ex girlfriends therapist right now?
"But he told me something, like, two weeks ago?" she questions herself, "And I haven't been able to stop thinking about it."
"What happened, Grace?" I say softly, seeing that it is hurting her.
"When uh-" she clears her throat, "When Michael and I were broken up, he was dating another girl."
My eyes go wide, "Oh, shit," I slip.
"And like, if he told me that from the start I would of been okay with it, because like, I had you." My heart breaks. Fuck.
"But he lied to me. Said he was 'lonely' and was trying to get his life together for me," she says, a tear now running down her cheek, "But he was doing that for her. He told me-" she clears her throat again, getting choked up. I take her hand, "He told me that he really loved her. And she left him, so he tried to shut her out. He tried to forget about her," she looks up at me, "But he can't."
Oh my God.
She sniffles, her green eyes staring basically into my soul, "Her name is Crystal."
*
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*
OKAY HEAR ME OUT
if literally anyone is still reading this which i doubt........ hey.
ok seriously tho idk WHAT came over to me to pick up again with writing this. i was looking through the website and saw i had that last calum chapter written so i decided to keep going
but ik what ur thinking
stop making grace a lil hoe and bounce back and forth between luke and michael but heres the tea
i love michael and crystal more than i have ever liked anyone celebrity couple (ew). i wanted to keep story and continue writing, probably bc 5sos is thriving and i am back to being trash, but i just couldnt write grace and michael together while knowing that crystal is around
and ik luke has sierra but thats all new and idk THIS JUST WORKS ALRIGHT
i really like grace and luke i have preferred them for a while now but for the story sake i thought i would be best to keep it the og way but i feel like it is so much more natural than grace and michael idk why but it is
also this is so short but i will continue writing tonight prob i have a plan
i bet no one even gives a shit BUT I HAD TO EXPLAIN MYSELF
