we're going to try something new
every now and again I think I'm going to throw in some other povs like michael ashton luke or calum and mb other people as it continues
it's still all cat and grace besides these few exceptions
its short but I actually really like it ok bye
ok here we go
Michael, why are you such a fuck up?
Breaking up with Grace was by far the worst decision I have ever made.
I didn't even have a real reason as to why I did.
I needed to sort my life out. I needed to go to college, get a job, and get out of the house. I didn't want to put Grace through that.
Not everyone can just join the army like Calum did. I was beyond the term fuck up.
She deserved so much more.
Like Luke. She deserved Luke.
But I swear to god when I walked into that apartment and Luke walked out of the bathroom and called Grace babe, I almost punched him there and then.
I didn't know we were going to their apartment. Ashton texted me and said he was picking me up so we could go and catch up a bit, but the bastard lied.
He said that he wanted to see them again and that we were all friends, but I knew he secretly just wanted to see Cat.
But honestly, I didn't really mind too much. I wanted too see my beautiful Grace again.
I was hoping that we would be able to talk a little bit, but now all hope is gone.
I don't know why I showed up to her apartment with fucking flowers, like that would of done anything.
But in the moment, I thought why the fuck not? What was fucking stopping me? I love her, and I wanted to show her I still do.
But then when Luke opened the door fucking shirtless, I realized that a lot was stopping me. She's happy now. Probably happier than I had ever made her.
Luke makes her that happy, and she probably loves him more than she ever loved me.
Not that I blame her, I mean, look at him.
He's tall, blue eyed, blonde, attractive guy who goes to fucking Yale. He's nice, smart, has a loving family that taught him right. And what am I? A pale, fuck up guy with red hair and too many tattoos.
Anyone would pick Luke over me any day, hell I would pick Luke over myself.
If I was more like Luke, I wouldn't be living in a dingy apartment in the middle of Seattle. I wouldn't be buying different hair dyes whenever I feel a certain emotion. I wouldn't be throwing the flowers I bought for the girl I love into the dumpster as I leave her apartment.
I would be succeeding in life, getting college degrees, making more money than at the record store I work in, being able to come him to the woman I love every night.
I would be able to do so much more if I was like Luke.
He has it all, the family, the education, the money, Grace.
Jesus fucking Christ, he has Grace.
I can't believe that I had Grace, and I was fucking stupid enough to let her go. She was the best thing that has ever happened to me.
At the time I thought I was making the right choice, which just shows how fucking dumb I really am.
I always pictured myself with her for the rest of my life. I was never really into having a family, but I knew she was. She is an only child, and I know that she would want nothing more than to have two or three kids so that they wouldn't be alone. And even though I never saw myself having kids, I could myself having her kids. Coming home to her and a little boy and two girls running around, letting their imagination run free. I've pictured it so many times.
But I guess that's just a story of another us.
All I could wish for is a new beginning with Grace. Her leave Luke for me, even though it would be the stupidest thing should could do.
But I'm selfish bastard that way.
Your whole life you search for something, but you don't know what it is until you loose it.
That's how I feel with Grace. I've always searched for some type of love and affection, but it wasn't until she was no longer there that I realized that what I've been searching for was her. It was always her, and it will always be her.
I need her, she makes me the best me, but I make her the worst her.
I'm a fuck up, reject, outsider, freak, nothing that Grace deserves.
She deserves a happy life with everything being handed to her on a silver platter. She deserves a nice family that lives in a big house with no problems to worry about. She deserves the world when I can only give her an ocean.
She's literal perfection, made by the angels themselves, and I was too blind to realize that there isn't anybody else like that.
She's the one, and I'm so in fucking love with her.
I'm so in love with her that I know I have to stay back, because Luke is her one. He makes her happy. He can give her the world. They'll have a safe and stable life together.
When Grace came to the top of the loft, my heart sank because I knew that she would be with him forever. I saw the way she walked out, smiling and all, and realized that he was the reason she had that smile on her face.
I am nothing, and she is everything, but together, damn, we sure made something.
