Living With 5sos

Who?

~? Pov~

I watched the 5SOS twitcam. They seemed happier now. It seemed that as if sharing memories of Ashton's sister made them realize that she was still alive in their hearts. That she'll always be there, just not physically. I wonder what it's like to related to one of the boys..I wonder what it's like to wake up to them everyday.

I know the answer to all of these questions. I know what it's like to be related to one of the boys, I know what it's like waking up to the noises of them everyday, well I used to. Before I faked my death. I had no real rational reason to fake my death..It's just I was sick at one point, and I thought it would be easier to just end it instead of having Ashton or one of the boys take care of me all the time because they were afraid of me getting sick again.

I remember the doctor telling me that what I had was uncommon, but it was curable. It was just me and him in the room, cause the boys weren't allowed in when Dr. Speigleman was doing my vitals or whatever. "Doc," I said. "Can't I just fake it? Cause I don't want to live if Ashton and the boys are going to take care of me all the damn time. They already do that enough, and I wanna live a little." I said. "You want to fake your death? How would you possibly do that?" He asked.

"Simple. Get an actress, make her look like me, make her sound like me, then after a day or two, "kill" her." I put air quotes around kill. "It's actually not that simple, Rose. Just think of all the people you'd be hurting if you did this." "It's better than being babied by my brother and his bandmates for the rest of my life."

"Alright. I'll see what I can do. I won't mention this to anyone." Dr. Speigleman said. "Good. So we have a deal?" I asked. "We have a deal."

I'm now living in a smaller town, north of London. I dyed my hair, cut it, and got an entirely new personality, and an entirely new life. I still go by Rose Irwin, but whenever someone asks, I say that it's just a coincidence that Ashton and I have the same last name. I've seen the boys getting pizza, or going shopping whenever I've traveled into London.

Does it hurt? Kinda. I miss Ashton, Calum, Luke and Michael. I miss them so much, and it kills me to see them like this. All mopey and shit. I do have someone check up on them for me every once and a while, just to see how they're doing. I sometimes get the urge to visit the house and give them all a hug. I could technically, since I still have my key. I decided to keep the key just in case I ever got the courage to tell them that I'm not actually dead.

I hope that they'll be okay without me for a while. I miss them a shit ton, like it's so unreal.