To Whom My Heart Belongs To [original]

Twenty-two

To someone I loved,

Did you know I was hesitant to admit I was falling for you? I may not know the answer; however, I assume you that don't either. I made it extremely difficult on myself those days, but I had no reason to be harsh on myself. It never occurred to me that one day I would let someone into my life the way you came in. I never thought you would be so important to me because just one year ago, my life was entirely different, and you weren't a part of that life. It was a sudden change that I instantly accepted. The only thing I didn't accept was this feeling I had for you. All the emotions were so confusing at the time. All my emotions were messing with my mind.

Do you have any idea how hard it was to accept those puzzling emotions? No, you don't understand that feeling. I wouldn't expect you to comprehend. While you might have experienced it in the past, you will never understand this situation like I have. In a scenario such as this one, I could never picture you having a foolish crush someone who didn't return the feeling. As a result, it's difficult to see you everyday and have to conceal the thoughts. I know I should try to mention it, but I don't have the courage in me. Often, I wish you could take a hint. If you could just see what was going around you and stop being oblivious to your surroundings, maybe it could've been slightly easier to tell you what I thought of you. There were plenty of signs that were thrown around, some which you might've heard, others which you might've seen. However, it seems as if you didn't catch on to any at all.

Meanwhile, it's astonishing as to how someone can become so important to you although you may not recall the first time you met. I can't seem to remember my first impression of you. When I meet someone for the first time, I always have a judgement as to how I perceived them despite not being able to remember later on. If I become closer to that person, I'll try to think of how I originally assessed their character to see how my image of them has changed since that time.

For some odd reason, the people I began to drift away from are the people who I remember the first impression I had on them. This followed a strange pattern. With two of my friends who have grown so close to me, I can't remember what I first thought of them. With two of my other friends who have begun to drift away from me, I remember my original thoughts. You've come into my life like many others have before. Though there's no sure way for me to know it's a good sign or not, I just can't put my finger on my first impression of you.

Hopefully, one day you will be more than just the first person I fell for. Maybe one day, you'll be the first person who I confess my feelings to and truly mean it.

With love,

someone you may never love