To Whom My Heart Belongs To [original]

Thirteen

To someone I loved,

I've heard that when you fall in love, you ignore their flaws and see them as perfect. You stop yourself from seeing the bad in that person. You convince yourself not to see the truly flawed person beneath the filter of perfection. And that's how I felt towards you for a period of time.

Isn't it funny how someone can convince themselves someone is perfect? It's been said that nobody is ever fully perfect. So how come we see these people as perfect? It's a question that remains unanswered. I may know the solutions to a number of other questions, but this is one I cannot answer. Perhaps there isn't a correct answer, simply any response will be counted as valid.

I saw you as perfect because I had never loved anyone before I had fallen for you. I saw you as perfect because I couldn't handle the thought of the person I loved being imperfect. I saw you as perfect because I was fragile and didn't want to risk putting my heart in the open field if you weren't the best. I saw you as perfect because I couldn't see past your outer shell in order to see the true you underneath. I saw you as perfect because I thought I loved you as much as anyone could ever love someone else.

It took a while for me to realize that no one was perfect. I had been living a life where every mistake I made resulted in punishment. My mind didn't want to admit I allowed another mistake into my life despite the evidence from the physical punishments. For each wrong I made, another bruise would slowly heal. If you became more to me than just a crush, another bruise might be revealed on my skin.

I thought I could be the perfect person. It was a thought that I kept in mind for years, but it was wrong. There was one thing I wasn't wrong about: this feeling I have towards you was only growing stronger despite the imperfections that have been embedded into it.

With love,

someone who covered her imperfections