To Whom My Heart Belongs To [original]

Fourth

To the one I loved,

This might as well be one of the more important parts to my story. While this part of your life might have built you up or tore you down depending on how you viewed the experience, this was the life-changing time that broke my exterior. I didn't let this change how I interacted with everyone around me, but I took this one to the heart. Yes, there was a girl I liked, and yes, she never quite returned that feeling the way I did for you at first.

It was three years ago when my little crush on this girl first began, the same girl you were once friends with. I hoped something good could have come out of this relationship; unfortunately, she never saw it that way. When she caught wind of my secret for her, she flat out turned me down.

You mentioned how she blossomed into a different person, and that's why I fell for her in the first place. Like you towards me, I didn't notice her before her transformation. After some time, those feelings rose up despite my resistance. I was just getting used to this new environment when out of nowhere, she popped in and left an imprint on my mind. I wasn't ready for this strange emotion of love, and I was definitely not ready to be rejected so fast.

So yes, I understand how you feel when I turned you away. It just took me a little time before realizing it. I held on to my infatuation for a while before fully accepting that she could never be mine. While I was on a high pedestal, she was on an even higher one.

On the other hand, you asked who I would choose if I were given the chance to choose. This makes me want to compare you to her although I know this isn't the right way to go about it. If I really thought about it, you and her were fairly similar. You both rose to an occasion, you both grew out of your past selves, you both had your own intentions and goals set in stone. When it comes to us though, I consider myself closer to you than I am to her. She was most definitely more popular than we were, not that popularity mattered. We could hold a conversation longer than she and I could even if our conversations included our other friends. We both had feelings for each other, but it only took me longer to realize how deep they were buried.

If I had to someone to follow, I would not hesitate to pick. It's clear that one of you makes me happier than the other, and this decision would clearly be an easy one because of you. I would immediately run to you because you made me feel at home even if I couldn't hold you or call you mine. You made me become a better version of myself without noticing it.

Yes, I held on to those feelings for the other girl for longer than I should have, but no, I would not pick her over you. She's exactly the name I've given her, the other girl. You were the one I wanted, but it may be too late.

Forever and always,

The one who would always run towards your heart first