To Whom My Heart Belongs To [original]

Second

To the one I loved,

I used to sit upon a high pedestal along with others who considered themselves to be "intellectually advanced." When I first joined their group a few year back, it didn't feel right to be a part whatever they had. They had order and stability, and something felt off by joining them.

My time with them was supposed to last longer than it actually did. I originally planned to stick with them for a while; I don't think I planned out what I would do after I left though. There were a few whom I grew close to, but I grew a bit too close to some more than others.

Either way, it doesn't matter. While I was part of their group and included in their shenanigans, I smiled at that moment because I didn't think things could get any better. Of course, I proved myself wrong two years later when I met you. It just took me a while to realize who and what I had, and it might have taken too long.

I was on that pedestal with those for such a long time that I forgot what it felt like to step down a level. For the following year, my mind told me to take it slow and step down one. That was the best decision I made; around that time, you took a step up, and we were on the same level.

Oblivious to everyone on this level, I only paid attention to how I could work my way back up to the highest point in the pyramid. In the rankings, you could say we were in second place, but I used to be in first. That feeling of being on top couldn't leave me; I couldn't wash it out. I craved to be victorious the way children often crave for attention and admiration.

After a few months of adjusting, I came to my senses. Second place was acceptable for me. It most definitely challenged me, but it didn't not break me. You, on the other hand, had your eye on the tip-top. You might not have noticed your own ambitions, but I surely did. Those moments when you socialized with the rulers of the pyramid, I saw the same spark in your eyes that I recognized in mine. You had that craving to be on top too.

I didn't know you too well then, so I kept my distance. Staying in our own circles, we never talked directly, but our mutual friends sometimes dragged us to the same events. I remember how hard I pushed myself to get to the top, and I remember all the blood and sweat that it took to remain on top. The pressure could have broken me, but I escaped before it crushed me.

I just didn't want you to get crushed, barely fleeing the weight the way I did. However, if that was what you truly desired, I would help you reach that point.

Forever and always,

The one who would lift you to first place