Strong like an anchor

Waves crashing

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Demi’s POV:

*Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!* My phone’s alarm startles me as it chimes loudly next to my ear. I groan and roll over, and hit the snooze button. I look at the time. 5am. Whhhhy I think to myself. I roll back and force my eyes to peel open to see Wilmer draped across the bed peacefully, fast asleep. I lay a kiss on his chest, he stirs but stays asleep. Ok Demi, today is the day, you got this. Now get up. I go through the motions in my head. Get up now, I try again… I continue to lay there, paralyzed. My alarm goes off yet again, this time waking Wilmer. He groans and rolls over, meeting my gaze. “Good morning Hermosa” he says sleepily, planting a sweet kiss on my lips. “Morning baby” I say, kissing him back and nuzzling him with my forehead. “Aren’t you supposed to be getting up?” he says, raising an eyebrow. “Yes” I say sighing. “ I was getting there..” “Sure you were” he says with a smirk. “Get up sweetie, you’re gonna have the whole of Central Park full just for you, everyone wanting to hear that angelic voice of yours” he says as he pushes the blankets off me. “You’re such a schmoozer.. yah know that?” I swing my legs out of bed and head to the shower.

I hear a knock at the door. That will be Max I think to myself, “Coming” I yell. I grab my handbag and do once last glance in the mirror before making my way over to Wilmer. “I gotta go baby, but you’ll be there right?” I ask, leaning down and kissing his forehead lightly. “Of course Dems, I wouldn’t miss it for the world. You’re gonna do amazing ok. Just remember you’ve got your Nightingale’s with you. You’ll do great”. He sits up, holding my face in his hands and kisses me passionately. I feel a tear roll down my cheek with the reminder of the reality. Tomorrow I bury my father. I sigh into his kiss. “Hey” he says, lifting up my chin so my eyes are locked on his. “We are gonna get through this ok. Together. I got you baby.” He says, his eyes darting with worry. “I know babe. I love you. See you later”. I kiss him once more before turning in my brown boots and making my way to meet Max. “I love you too Hermosa” he says as I leave the room”.

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I finish up my performance for Good Morning America in front of a packed crowd live and for the viewers in front of their TVs at home. I’m glad it’s over. As much as I enjoyed it, as much as I loved seeing my screaming fans, it was hard. Hard to keep my mind from wandering. Hard to be my normal enthusiastic self with a big smile on my face. I was relieved it was done but at the same time I dreaded what came next. Just a few more interviews, you got this, just breathe I say to myself. I take a deep breathe in and exhale out deeply. I head back stage to get my hair and makeup retouched before making my way to some interviews.

I see his smiling face looking at me proudly. I get butterflies in my stomach and an instant smile spreads across my face. I bowl up to him and wrap my arms around his waist, snuggling into his safe chest. “You did amazing. You absolutely killed it out there. I’m so proud of you Hermosa”. He says, kissing me softly again and again on my forehead. “Thanks.. my voice was tired though. I struggled through and I messed up on some notes. I Just..” “Just nothing”, he grabs my hands in his and stops me mid-sentence. “Babe you can’t always be perfect and considering the circumstances I think it’s completely understandable that your voice is a little tired. People know that. It’s been an emotional week but honestly, I wouldn’t lie to you, you did amazing ok. No if’s or buts. Fact. Focus on those incredible notes you did hit, because they were out of this world baby”. Thanks I say with a giggle, blushing slightly. “Plus you definitely relaxed as you got into it”. “Yeah" I say, looking down at my feet. “I felt my Nightingale with me and that helped”. He pulled me into a tight embrace and rubbed my back up and down. We stayed like this for a few minutes before I realised people were watching and I a schedule to stick to. “Arrgh I gotta go again. Wish I could just cuddle with you all day” I say looking up at him, pouting. “Me too beautiful, me too” he says with a sigh. He pushes some of my hair behind my ear and kisses my nose. “See you later. Nearly there baby. Message me when you’re done, I love you” he says as I force myself to continue toward the makeup room.

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To Wilmer:

Done baby. Meet you back at the hotel? Am keen for a quiet night in before tomorrow if that’s ok?

I hit send as I head back toward the hotel. I pull my fingers through my hair. I feel anxious and can’t seem to calm myself. Breathe Demetria. Breathe I tell myself, taking deep breathes in and out. “you ok Demi?” Max says from the front seat raising an eyebrow. “Mmm just thinking about tomorrow” I let out a sigh, trying not to burst into tears right there and then. “Yeah I’m sure you are. You will get through. Somehow. It won’t be easy but you’ve got so many people around you to help you through”. I smile, remembering how blessed I am. Max was right, I have so many amazing people around me. It will be ok. Somehow. “Thanks Max” I say with a smile. We pull up to the back entrance of my hotel. “Will see you back in Denver for X-Factor then yes? All the best with tomorrow sweetheart” Max says, turning behind his chair, giving my hand a squeeze. “Yeah will confirm timing for X-Factor. Thanks for everything Max. You do an amazing job and I don’t tell you enough, I appreciate you so much ok?” “Thanks Demi. Look after yourself” he says before I grab my handbag and shut the door to the black SUV. I wave once more before pushing open the hotel doors and quickly making my way up to my suite.

“Wilmer?” I say as I swipe through the door, chucking my handbag on the foyer table. “In here baby” he yells back from the main bedroom. He is lying on his side watching TV. I climb onto the bed and climb in beside him so he has no choice but to wrap me up in his arms. I push myself into him so I am as close as possible and bury my head into his arm. I pull my legs up to my chest and lay there wrapped up in his embrace in foetal position. “What’s wrong Nena”. I can’t hold it in any longer. My breathing begins to quicken and my heart starts to race. I start to cry and shake uncontrollably. I feel dizzy. The room starts to become blurry.I feel Wilmer’s arm tighten their grip around me. I know exactly what is happening. I am having a panic attack. He quickly realises this and begins to talk to me in a calming voice.

“Hermosa, focus on my voice ok. Look up at the ceiling. How many light bulbs are there?” I try to focus out of the symptoms and control my breathing. I do as he says and count. 1, 2, 3, 4. I think in my head as I count them. “Focus on your breathing Hermosa. In…and out. In…and out”. I try focus on his smooth and calm voice. I feel my breathing begin to return to normal. “That’s it baby. Breathe with me. Feel the rise and fall of my chest”. I try and relax my head on his chest and copy his movements. After about 10 minutes I finally feel myself relax and return to normal, however I feel weak. I roll over and nuzzle my head into his chest, burying myself deeper into his embrace. “I got you beautiful. I’m not going anywhere”. He says as he rubs my back up and down softly. “How about I order a DVD and some takeouts hmm?” he says to me after another couple of minutes of lying there in silence. “Mmm” I say, nodding. Without letting go, he grabs his phone and dials. I don’t deserve him I think to myself. He is way too good to me. I don’t know where I”d be without him. I look up at him talking on the phone and smile. I am so lucky. I again nuzzle into his chest. I feel calm. I feel safe. 

Coming up: Demi faces the hardest thing she's ever done..