Strong like an anchor

I hate you, don't leave me.

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Demi’s POV:

As soon as we are in the privacy of the car, I let it all out. I feel myself crumbling into pieces. I can’t think. A million different thoughts are zooming through my head and I have no idea where to begin. I feel his strong arm wrap about my shoulder. I am brought back to reality by his touch. He pulls my chin up so I have no choice but to stare into his chocolate coloured eyes. They are darting from side to side in confusion; in worry. “What is it Nena? Please tell me. Whatever it is, we can get through this together”. I let out a sigh and try to calm down. I go over the event that has just played out and try to get my breathing back to normal. I feel his warm thumbs wipe away the tears falling down my cheeks. He kisses my forehead; then drops his forehead down so we are pressed against one another. We stay like this for what seems like forever. “Why don’t we drive home and I’ll explain on the way?” He clasps my hand in his and squeezes before putting the car into car and smoothly taking off into the crisp night.

“Ok Hermosa, from the beginning please”. I take a deep breathe in. “Ok so Marissa called; some photos have leaked”. I see his eyebrows raise. “Photos? What photos?” he asks. I can see he too is trying to remain calm. “Of us. Quite a few, from different times, some even from a few months ago”. He lets out a sigh of relief. “Well that’s not too bad is it Nena? I mean people already knew we were together and most have guessed we are together now?” I start to get frustrated. He doesn’t get it. I let out a big sigh of frustration. “Wilmer you don’t get it!” I fold my arms across my chest. “Well explain it to me Nena, I’m trying here” he pleads. “Not just ‘photos’ Wilmer. Personal photos. I haven’t seen them myself yet but from what I can gather the recent ones are of us in bed…” his face drops. “But..how?” he asks, as confused as I am. “I don’t know baby, that’s why we need to get home and figure this out ok”. He squeezes my hand again. “It will be ok Nena. Everything will work out”. I squeeze his hand back. “You don’t know that I mutter”.

I see him hold his breath as if holding back what he really wants to say. I can feel the anger building up inside of me. He lets out a sigh. We pull into my apartment’s driveway and I waste no time by quickly going inside without Wilmer. I run upstairs and open my laptop. Marissa has emailed me the images. I click open and sit their staring with my hand over my mouth. There were two that stood out. One of us in bed snuggling and another of us kissing. At least it was clear I had a top on but it was obvious Wilmer didn’t. Oh my god, why did I let him take these photos of us I think to myself. Our relationship, our privacy, our little ‘bubble’ was now all over the internet for anybody to see. Then the even bigger question was who is this ‘Demi Leaks’ and how the fuck did these pictures leak. I feel a tear roll down my cheek but not from sadness but from pure frustration and anger. Wilmer walks in the room and sits down behind me wrapping an arm around my waist. “Oh..fuck” he says when he sees the pictures.

“Yeah fuck is fucking right Wilmer. How could you do this?!” I scream. All my built up anger is boiling to the surface and I can tell I am about to explode and I already know I am about to regret the next few minutes. “Me?! what do you mean how could I do this? This isn’t MY fault Demi” he says back, still calm with his voice slightly raised. “What do you mean it’s not your fault? Of course it’s your fault! Who took these fucking pictures huh? Oh yeah…YOU! And what did you take them on? YOUR phone…so don’t you sit there and tell me this isn’t your fault because it is!” I yell, now pacing the room, throwing my hands up in the air in fury. “What the fuck Demi? You honestly think I’m responsible for this? You’re making out like I fucking leaked them myself!” he replies. I can tell he is getting worked up himself now. “Well who did you send them too? Because you obviously shared them somewhere!” I yell back, my voice still getting louder. I can feel my cheeks burning red. My blood is boiling. I am so fired up and I don’t even know what I am yelling anymore. “Seriously Demi? How can you say that. Do you not trust me?” he says back, looking slightly hurt.

Just stop Demi, I try to reason with myself. Just stop and apologise before you push him away. However my mouth has a mind of its own and keeps going. It’s like a train wreck happening before my eyes and I can’t stop it. “How can I? you were the one who went and fucked that blonde that one time we were on a ‘break’, and you were the one who kissed that brunette in Vegas. You’ve given me plenty of reasons NOT to trust you Wilmer and this just proves YET again I CAN’T”. My hand flies over my mouth the second it’s out. I re-play in my head what I just said to him. I move myself closer to him. “Fuck I’m sorry Wilmer, that was uncalled for”. He stands up, grabs his jacket and heads for the door. “No Wilmer. Please, don’t leave. I’m sorry!!” I beg, tears now openly pouring down my face. I grab his arm as he’s about to leave the room. He looks at me cold into my eyes, takes my hand off his arm and simply says. “I need some space. I’ll be back when you’ve calmed down and had some time to process. I love you”. With that he leaves.

I feel my knees give way beneath me. I kneel on the floor, sobbing. I hear the front door slam and the car start. What have I done I think to myself. I lay there sobbing uncontrollably. I feel the familiar darkness close in around me. I feel my perfect cloud nine world come crashing down around me piece by piece. After a few minutes I try to pull myself together. I get myself off the floor and move over to the bed. I stare at the pictures on my laptop screen. A wave of anger yet again washes over me. Fire burns behind my eyes. I open twitter and type out my real frustration and I don’t hold back. I begin with

@ddlovato I don’t do this for the money. In fact, I’d give back all the money in the world I’ve ever made if I could buy my privacy back.

Its days like this I wish I wasn’t famous. I think about what my life would be like if I wasn’t. Normal. I open up a second tweet and type

@ddlovato Artists don’t owe anyone ANYTHING. We choose to be open and honest in our music with others..Yet this is how we are thanked?

I hit send and take a deep breath. What if I hadn’t of opened up about my story? Would I even be in the industry? I can’t believe it has come to this. I love my life, I do but right now I don’t want any of it. I open up a third tweet and type

@ddlovato The entitlement that society has today over our lives of artists today is absolutely PATHETIC.

I take another deep breath and hit send. Nope, not done I think. I open up a fourth tweet and type

@ddlovato Completely and utterly disgusted at the absolute lack of privacy or respect whatsoever in this world today. None. So disappointed.

I brush my hands together. Done I think, a smirk on my face. I close my laptop and take some deep breaths. I am feeling a little better after getting that all out in the open, I must admit. After a few minutes I hear my phone ring. Wilmer? I hope. I rummage through my hand bag and press accept without looking who it is. “Baby?” “No Demi this is Nikki”. My face drops. “Oh shit sorry Nikki, I didn’t look and I thought it would be..never mind” I trail off. “Look Demi we’ve deleted those tweets you just sent. Care to tell me what the hell is going on?” she asks, obviously pissed off. “Photos of me and Wilmer leaked and I’m understandably upset and fucked off ok Nikki. I just want my privacy back”. I realise I am crying again. “You should have rung me Demi. You going on that little twitter rant is going to draw more attention than if you had just laughed them off or stayed quiet. I’m looking at tweets now and most people think the photos are from when everyone knew you were together and most think they are photoshopped”. “What really?” I ask, sniffing back. “Yes Demi yet your little burst of anger has just confirmed they are in fact real”. Fuck I think. “Ahh sorry Nikki, I’ve fucked up. I should have left it up to you guys. I see that now. I’ll stay off twitter”. I hear Nikki sigh. “It’s ok Demi. Now on a less professional note, are you ok?” I let out a sob. “No” I cry out. “Look I need to go make things right. I’ll talk to you later. Keep me updated and I’m sorry again Nikki. Thank you”. I say, feeling myself calm down and my perspective change.

Now to fix things with Wilmer…