The Voices Inside my Head!!!!

And I Had Contol

For once in a billion lives for what feels like forver i had control.

It may have been brief and i tried so hard not to scream,
I did.

It was so hard bot to fight back and kick but i didnt panic near as much as i had the first time this thing had visited me in my mind.

They called it an incubus.
A seductive and alluring creature that preys on women in their sleep.

I always thought it was my blood pressure or i was just talking yo myself all over again,
That when i said i cant hear myself i really meant it.

I never imagined that this thing was real and if so
Did it target me for a reason?

It doesnt seem real though but oh everything that i was seeing and feeling it was too real for words.

This thing had always been there i remember it so long ago but it never spoke aloud or to anyone but me.

It told me things,
I was special.
I was perfect.
I was going to do great things.

What i still never understand was why it had always attached itself to me, why not anyone else?

Am i truly that disturbed that this thing fed off of me and continues to feed off of me?

Or am i so disturbed that i have to keep inventing ways to explain fucked up situations to myself and the only way i know how is to create some vivid emotion that manifest into my nightmares?

It was there when i was a baby though and i could remember it because i have always had nightmares,
Ive always had sad and hurtful visions sights that fucked up my mentality deeper then i know.

Shadows that played on the walls,
Orbs and cold spots that semed to go through me and i felt it.

I remember all of these things somehow but i cant ever recall why it was there, what it was.
Why it had followed me...
Why it always follows me.

If i am crazy then admit me,
Tell me,
Warn me,
Show me that there is a problem up here that cant be fixed,
Cant be solved.

A fear that cant be tamed and explanations that need to be explained even more.