The Voices Inside my Head!!!!

Long Remembered

I remember when we used to live like nomads,
Yet back then i complained but im now grateful that its still in me.

That living is in my blood and now i think i really can live.

Sure its because part of me is being selfish but then again... am i?

People have always tried to manipulate and brainwash me with all their fake guilt trips and nonexistent praises but now i know im ready.

They dont warn you that drama is a necessity to some people but not to me,

Im not a dramatic person at all turns out.

So perhaps you dont understand to escape i need to prove my point to myself and to the world.

Im not stupid,

I am naive.

Im not paranoid,

Im afraid.

Im not alone,

You care and its taking forver to realize that sometimes you need to hear it.

So im crazy?

You would know why if you took a look back at me.

I have always had myself.

Sure my bro is there but as we got older we went seperate ways and yet so far apart we conmect so much.

I miss you.

I really do miss you, Ricky.

I need to have you back with me again to be my right hand man and i can play the role of little sister then and you can have your freedom.

You need to see Ricky.

You need to understand that the world yes its hard and its cruel and it can be cold but depending on the people we are with...

Who we love and who chooses to love us determines your life.

Why do they always do that though?

Your so judgemental and you dont care about anything and every time you will make me be paranoid and freak out because its what i have always known.

Its what I'm always used to.

Having you talk down to me and use me its nothing new:

No shame.

But what im finally doing is this:

No mercy.

No fucking mercy whatsoever because never once have you shown any care and you have never cared i was a pawn.

No fucking worry because you were never concerned about me i was an idiot.

You are losing something really smart and funny,

Someone really independant,

Someone free spirited,

Someone who is just that...

Matters.

You are losing a member of your family and you are never gonna be able to replace that now.

I guess its true what they say though;

When you are free you really are free.