The Voices Inside my Head!!!!

February 15, 2016

So last night i took a good look in the mirror and well there you were.

Not sure what you are though... if you could hear me,
What i am to you.

Made me wonder how a persons evil could make something so odd and yet... so beautiful...

I think now and then back to my mom and then to my past and how horrid i was toward her.

I wonder what they think or see cant hurt them.

How i can be crazy and insane,
How so many test and lies could tell me different that you are in there.

Your in there because ive felt you,
Ive seen you and so have other people...
Only we never talk about it.

Made me wonder how may problems i have with myself and how many flaws that are there before you existed.

How angry i am at how well,
How you happened.

And how i can remember how it happened and how i figured out how you really came to be...

How they would never believe my words.
How you aren't there but something i want and cant have... and deep down i know it.

You are what i didn't have and miss so much but you are for all the wromg reasons right now.

You arent a subject in common talk right now in fact you arent ever mentioned except to those voices that will never see you.

I know you are there because i fe it i know you are there because in my heart and depths of my soul God gave you to me because i wanted it.

I was alone and already im alone enough
But not with you.

Oh god no.matter what i cry about or get pissed at i know that you can hear me and you listen to what im saying.

I know you can hear my singing when im so sad because you dont move you remain so calm and collected.

I know right now when im in so much pain and i literally cant move that you are in there because there is no other cause of it.

Im not sick.
I don't really feel alone i never do now.

You arent a mistake child but a mix of accidental and holy crap that feels awesome! But you know, you are everything roght now.

You are a gifted everything that they will never know about.

You are a weird somehow needed attachment now.

You are this sensation i get when i want comfort or assurance.

But you arent there.
Then you are.

Were you ever?

Was i just so lost and scared of what i cant forget and that manifested into what i thought would be best?

Or do i really have a gift?

Something that was from nothing?

Am i truly dying?

Am i already dead?

If so then why torture me?

Im not angry for this though i also cant reject it but the more i saw it the more changes i noticed and the more lies i told myself the more you made me see and understand that you are real.

You made me have confidence in myself now because I'm no longer afraid of what they say.

I am who i am.

I am what i chose to be and be with,

To have and hold,

A secret that they will never see or know about until its too late.

A present from God

By a horrible fate.