The Heart Chronicles

➳ Promise

I would start with an apology 

But I know a million sorrys won't

Right my wrong 

So I am writing you this poem 

To ask you for forgiveness 

and explain why I couldn't do it. 

It was as if my tongue was held back by the thoughts of the future possibilities 

Your gaze urged me to say those two words but at the same time kept me from saying them 

I couldn't say it

I could not say-

I promise. 

I promise not to die intentionally.  

I was afraid. And I still am. 

But you must understand I don't know what life will bring 

I don't know if I will ever find myself in that bottomless pit again

I cannot promise you my hands won't clumsily slip 

and too much blood won't spill 

and the world won't turn black

I cannot promise you I will live the way you want me to 

Because truthfully I never imagined I'd live to this day. 

So please understand, my dear:

Though this promise cannot be kept by me 

I will try to live for now. 

For you

l.a.