New Beginnings (Charlie Bartlett Fanfic Starring Robert Downey Jr.)

Chapter 56 - Stop Being All Perfect

 Sydney sat in the surf, the water reaching her hips, then receding, over and over again. Nathan insisted on taking a surfing lesson, much to Sydney's surprise. He said he had done it a few times when he was in high school and wanted to see if he could still balance himself out in the water. She watched him out in the waves, smiling each time he climbed back onto the board he previously fell off of.

The night before had been rough and terrifying and...somehow beautiful. After taking solace in one another's bodies, Nathan and Sydney stayed in their room, ordered the biggest cheeseburgers available from the room service menu, and talked, just a little, about all Nathan had revealed. Sydney didn't press a single issue, despite her desperate want to do so. After their impromptu dinner, they filled the large tub in the bathroom, turned on the jets, and Nathan simply held her. They wound up dozing off and on while the warm water comforted them until they finally retreated to bed, exhausted.

Sydney grinned as she watched Nathan successfully ride out a small wave. She clapped and waved at him, then leaned back, resting on her elbows and closing her eyes. She allowed herself to become lost in her thoughts and never saw Nathan approach her. Her eyes only opened when she felt him scoop her up from the sand.

"Nathan!" she yelled, giggling and playfully hitting his chest. He took them both out into the water, his arms still wrapped around her. He kissed her deeply. "I love you," she cried, all the tears she held back the night before spilling freely.

"I know you do, Syd." He kissed her again, the ocean splashing over their shoulders. "I love you too. Ask me anything you want, right here...we can wash everything away, can't we?"

"All I want to know," Sydney said, timid, "is why you didn't tell me about Rick sooner. Especially since he was hitting on me for months."

Embarrassment and a trace of shame shadowed his face. "I don't have a good answer for that. Greed, I think."

"Greed? Nathan, that doesn't make sense."

He looked into her eyes and tilted his head. "I didn't want to think he could take someone else from me."

Sydney sighed. "I understand when it comes to that, but I mean everything else...at least I think I do." Nathan was confusing her. "He hit on me before the Christmas party, afterwards it just got worse and..."

"If I said too much and he found out I told you..." He looked defeated. "I was afraid he would have figured out how much I liked you...how much I wanted you and that..."

She smiled. "How much you liked and wanted me when?"

"C'mon, you know."

She shook her head. "Apparently, I don't."

He waded to her, pulling her close. "Quite possibly from the moment you spilled coffee down your coat."

Sydney splashed him, laughing. "You are so full of sh..." His lips were on hers before her sentence was finished. "Yeah?" she asked when he released her.

Nathan ran his finger along her cheek. "Never dreamed of acting on it. Never thought we'd even talk to one another."

They stayed out in the water, talking, for an hour. By the end of those sixty minutes, they were laughing, their noses and cheeks pink from the sun reflecting off the water...and both of them felt light. They were back on the beach, relaxing on the lounge chairs there when Nathan asked a question of his own.

"You know you're beautiful, right?" his voice was soft.

Sydney was on her stomach, letting the sun warm the backs of her legs. She didn't look at him. "You tell me so."

"I saw you looking around before and I wish you'd stop comparing yourself."

She cringed. She didn't know he'd caught her looking at all of the bikini-clad bodies. She was wearing a black one-piece swimsuit, very retro and quite similar to one she'd seen in a picture from Marilyn Monroe's Hollywood reign. "I'm not comparing," she lied. "I'm in my thirties, they're...what, college and high school kids and..." She rolled her eyes, feeling foolish.

"I know you packed a bikini." She felt him rubbing sunscreen on her back. "Starting to burn a little," he whispered in her ear. "Anyway, I think you should do yourself a favor tomorrow and...even out your color, hm?"

She turned her head and looked at him. The creases around his eyes were accentuated as he squinted in the sunlight and a couple of gray chest hairs moved with the breeze. He wasn't one of the college studs playing football a few yards away - he was better than that - and she understood what he was saying to her. She compared herself to others her entire life, never feeling thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough - all the same insecurities ninety percent of women have, and it was never more clear to her than it was now that none of that would ever matter.

"You need to stop it," she said, "you're getting a bit too...oooh..." She stopped when his teeth tugged at her earlobe, sending chills through her body. She turned over completely to look at him. "Women need their insecurities, it's sort of our 'thing' sometimes. Stop being all perfect to me today, okay?"

"You really want that?"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course, not but..."

He laughed. "I love it when you're flustered."