Always Maybe

First Day

Merlin adjusted his leather jacket in front of the mirror, double-checking to make sure that it looked okay. He was feeling very nervous about the first day back at Camelot for his final year. He sighed and decided that he looked good enough. He left his room with his backpack hanging from his shoulders and trudged down the stairs. He found Hunith, his mother, in the kitchen. She was hunched over the stove making eggs, and Merlin smiled to himself before sitting down. Kilgharrah, his old beagle, moaned at his feet and then laid down on the cold, tile floor of the kitchen. 

"First day," Hunith said as she finished the eggs. Merlin nodded and softly petted Kilgharrah who wagged his tail in approval.

"Last year," Merlin replied.

Hunith walked over to her son and scooped eggs onto his plate. He smiled at her and began to eat them. Hunith frowned when she was sure that Merlin couldn't see her. She worried about her son night and day. He wasn't like everyone else, but she wasn't quite sure why, and she doubted that he knew more than she did. She wanted her son to loved by all because she thought he was perfect in every way, but he was off. Not that being different was bad or anything, it was just concerning.

After finishing his food, Merlin kissed his mother goodbye and started on his way to school. He took his car and drove to Camelot, eager to see his friends but much less eager to throw himself back into studies. Also, he knew he'd have to see Arthur again, and the thought wasn't pleasing. 

Arthur Pendragon was the biggest jock at school. He was handsome, popular, blue-eyed, and strong. All of the girls wanted to be with him, and Merlin admitted that for the past year or so, he'd fallen for the guy as well. Though, Merlin wasn't sure if he was totally gay. He had found himself staring at girls sometimes, too, and he never thought of any other guy except for Arthur. The problem with liking Arthur was that he would never like Merlin back. He was the kind of guy to sleep with a new girl every day just because he was bored, and Merlin was more of the sturdy relationship type.

Merlin parked his car and walked into the stone building, eager to see Morgana. The other problem with having a huge crush on Arthur was that Morgana was his sister, and the two lived together. So, Merlin always invited Morgana over to his place so he didn't have to bother Morgana with filling in awkwardly while Merlin pined over her brother. Merlin had two other best friends as well, but he felt close to Morgana because he felt as though they had something in common, though he wasn't sure what.

Lancelot was the first friendly face Merlin saw when he arrived at Camelot for the year. He smiled at his friend and the two hugged in front of the locker assignment sheet hanging on the board Merlin had been looking at. 

"Good to see you!" Lance smiled at Merlin.

Merlin beamed in return. "Good to see you, too," he replied. 

"Have a nice summer?" Lance asked as Merlin drew his attention back to the board. He saw his name next to lock 534 and decided that he would go put his stuff away. 

"Yeah. You?" Merlin asked in return as he started to walk off towards his new locker. Lance followed him, his smile unwavering. 

"It was fun, but it's good to be back," Lance replied. 

Merlin nodded. He passed locker 521, so he was close. "And how's Gwen?"

Lancelot blushed and looked down at the ground. "Still madly in love with Arthur, I'm sure," Lance frowned.

Merlin felt his heart drop. "What?"

Lance frowned, seeing that he had said too much. The two had gotten together at the end of the previous school year, but Lancelot had made sure that Merlin didn't find out. Merlin was completely open to Lance about everything, including his mad crush on the blond clotpole. 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you," Lancelot said. Merlin reached his locker and opened it. He found a lock inside and took it out, setting it to his usual combination. He was relieved to have something to hide his reddening cheeks behind, and he was glad that he could shelter his tears from Lancelot's view. 

"No, it's fine," Merlin lied. He wiped his wet eyes on the sleeve of his leather jacket and then threw his binders and books into his locker haphazardly before slamming it shut and turning to Lancelot. 

"Do you still-"

"I don't know," Merlin shrugged. Of course he still loved Arthur, but he needed to get over him. Arthur Pendragon was never going to like him back. Arthur Pendragon was... standing behind Lancelot. 

Lance turned. "Oh!" he cried as he found himself face to face with Arthur Pendragon; the man in love with his girl and the man responsible for Merlin's heart. Merlin blushed behind his friend and looked down nervously, wondering what to say. 

"Could you move?" Arthur asked, his tone showing no sign of friendliness. Lancelot, because he was obedient, moved aside. Merlin, however, stood very still. He found it hard to breathe with his crush so close, so he refused to do anything other than stand in front of his locker, looking at the floor.

"You should say 'please,'" Merlin said, bringing his eyes up to meet Arthur's gaze.

"What was that?" Arthur asked, wondering why this simple non-athlete was questioning him.

"It's rude to just demand someone to move," Merlin said.

Arthur scoffed and tried to push past the scrawny boy to get to his locker, which happened to be under Merlin's, but Merlins stood still and did not let him through. "Out. Of. My. Way," Arthur demanded. 

Lancelot moaned softly as he watched Merlin's smirk creep across his face. "Who do you think you are? The principal?" Merlin sniggered.

Arthur shot daggers into Merlin's eyes. "No," he said, "I'm his son."

Merlin's face paled for a second before he got a brilliant idea. "Oh, so you need daddy to fight all of your battles for you?"

Arthur swung his fist at Merlin's face, enraged with how he was treating him. Merlin was quick and Arthur's fist slammed into Merlin's locker, which was very painful. The pain made Arthur more motivated, and he rushed after Merlin as he sprinted down the hall. When Merlin was far enough ahead of the Pendragon, he quickly turned on the faulty water fountain and sprayed water all over the floor of that section of the hallway. Sure enough, Arthur came running after him and quickly slipped on the water, landing flat on his ass. 

Merlin chuckled and sprinted away again, almost positive that he'd lost Arthur. He hid in the stairway for a second or two before someone snuck up from behind him and clobbered him on the back of the head with a thick textbook. Arthur stood over the skinny, dark haired boy with a proud smile on his face. He wondered how happy his father would be when he heard the story.