Always Maybe

Awkward Dinner

Sorry I haven't updated! Here's a long(ish) one to apologize. Please comment! I love hearing from you!!! Having my fair of problems and drama right now, so apologizes if I don't get one out for a while. 

-biblio the tired soph

Merlin sat down at the table, feeling like he had walked into a trap. Uther sat across from him, the table putting several feet between them. The distance could not ease Uther's glares, though. Merlin felt the principal's eyes pierce him like a knife, and Merlin shifted uncomfortably every few seconds to try and escape his sights. Morgana and Arthur had taken it upon themselves to bring the food in from the kitchen. Arthur did his best to take a while with each trip to and from the dining room so that Merlin would soon be able to use the excuse that it was late and he had to go, should he desire to use it. Arthur hated to see Merlin getting glares from his father, but he hated the idea of Morgana force feeding him horrible memories much more. 

When they all sat down, Uther was bitter and angry. He was hungry and had waited all day for this moment. Merlin could feel the anticipation from the table. It was like a stench that filled his nostrils. 

Now we begin, he thought to himself. 

The meal started pleasantly. Uther was eager to get his hands on food and Morgana was eager to pretend she wasn't a murderer. Merlin was happy he was still alive. Arthur... Arthur was just pissed off. He kept it mostly to himself, though. He didn't want to be suspicious.

"So, Merlin," Uther said once everyone had served themselves chicken, rolls, vegetables, and potatoes. Merlin set the basket of rolls down on the table and waited for Uther's first question. "You're homosexual?"

Arthur nearly spit out his water as Merlin's ear reddened with embarrassment. 

"Um, bisexual, Sir. But, um, yeah," he said, afraid to say anything other than "yes" with a bow. 

Uther let out a forced chuckle. "If you and my son are indeed having sexual relations, please, call me Uther."

Merlin wanted nothing more than to crawl into a hole and never come out. 

"Father," Arthur warned. 

Morgana tried to hide her laughter with a mouthful of potatoes. 

Uther turned to Arthur. "What? I'm asking the boy some questions."

"Sexual relations? Really? We're just dating," Arthur mumbled.

Uther nodded and forced a surprised look on his face. "Oh, so you two are not having sexual relations? No kissing? Handholding? Affection? Seems like a waste of time."

Arthur mentally face-palmed, but he tried to look like he didn't care about this. He tried to act like he wasn't about to jump across the table and strangle his father right then and there. "Next question," Arthur begged.

As Uther opened his mouth to say something, Morgana leapt at the opportunity to say something. 

"Merlin," she said, turning to the raven-haired boy, "isn't it true that your best friend died this year?"

Arthur glared at Morgana, begging for her to stop. He looked to Merlin to see if he looked at all distraught by her question, but he carried it off like it was no big deal. Arthur could almost picture Merlin biting the inside of his cheek to refrain from going mad. 

"Yes," he said. "My best friend did die. It was a very tragic accident and I miss him greatly. Forgive me when I ask the relevance of this question?"

Damn, Arthur thought.  He was pretty proud of that response. 

Morgana opened her mouth to say something more, an evil twinkle in her eye as her mind flooded with all sorts of clever comebacks, when Uther raised a hand. 

"That's enough, Morgana. All of Camelot--no, all of Albion-- suffered a great loss with the death of Lancelot du Lac. I saw how close you were to him, Merlin. And I'm very sorry for your loss."

Merlin nodded, his heart softening to the old man. "Thank you," he said, almost at a loss for words. This was the first time Uther had been actually nice to him, and it warmed his heart.

"It is my understanding that this is not the first loss you've suffered," Uther said.

So much for kindness.  

"Um, no. It's not."

"I thought so. Didn't your father die some time ago?"

Merlin nodded and noticed Arthur's worried looks. He wanted to tell Arthur that it was okay and that he could handle this, but he didn't want to lie. "I was very young," Merlin recalled. "I hardly remember him."

"Don't forget the dead girlfriend," Morgana said from her part of the table.

Merlin looked at Arthur frantically as Uther nodded in agreement.

"Ah, yes. The girlfriend. How did she die again? Same sort of tragic accident?"

"Yes. Car accident," Morgana said with a fake sort of sadness. "Poor thing."

"Did my mother not die as well? Everyone has suffered, father. I do not see what interrogating the boy I love about what he has lost will do for you."

Uther raised an eyebrow and looked at his son with a look of warning. "Your mother died in childbirth. It couldn't be helped." He dismissed Arthur's comment with a wave of his hand, but Arthur was not quite finished. 

"And you're saying the death of Merlin's father could have been? Or Freya? Or Lancelot? Are you saying that you think Merlin killed them?"

"I'm not accusing him of anything, Arthur. I'm just saying that it is rather convenient that everyone closes to him seems to die rather suddenly."

Merlin clenched his fists under the table. 

"Merlin did not kill anyone!" Arthur argued.

"Arthur--"

"No, Merlin. He needs to know."

"Know what?" Uther asked, his voice bellowing in anger. 

Morgana looked at the three of them for a moment, trying to piece everything together. "Yes, know what, Arthur?"

"Merlin's girlfriend died in a drunk driving accident near Christmas," Arthur said. Merlin tried to get him to stop, but Arthur shook his head. He'd already made up his mind. "Merlin didn't kill her. I did. I was the drunk driver. I hit their car. I killed Freya." He took a deep breath, the words hitting him like lightning. "I killed Freya."