Always Maybe

Goodbyes

Hey, guys! I really want feedback! I have two ways that this could go. I could end the book in the next three chapters or not. Please let me know what you guys want! This has gotten pretty popular recently, so I might make a sequel or start another AU. Please don't be afraid to comment and let me know how you guys have felt about this and if you have anything you want to see in a potential sequel or next book. ILY!

-bibliosoph

Merlin woke up on a sunny morning and yawned. He looked out the window and saw the street he'd grown up on looking the same as t always did. He smiled to himself at first, thinking that it would be a beautiful day to simply live, but then he frowned realizing what a day it was to die. He looked at his calendar, the one he always hid when Arthur came over, and checked off the final box. The countdown was done. The wait was over. Today was finally the day where everything was to come together.

He knocked on the door of the guest room that Gwen was still occupying. She knew what the day was too, she just didn't know how it would end. The only person that was certain of the plan was Merlin.

"Hi," Gwen said at the door. Merlin smiled and wrapped her up in a hug. They had grown very close since she moved in, and Merlin was glad to have her as a friend. 

"Today's the day," he said.

Gwen nodded, unfortunately aware. "You have to promise to be safe," she said seriously.

"I promise," he said.

"Good. Now, you're seeing Arthur today, right?"

Merlin nodded. He's started talking less since the plan was formed. He didn't want to waste his words. He felt like he had a certain amount now.

"Tell him you love him," she advised. "Just in case something happens."

Merlin knew that she was giving him the advice because of what happened to her dad. She wished every day that she had been able to tell him that she loved him one last time before he was taken away. Before the trial, he had been found dead in his cell. It looked like a suicide, but Merlin knew better than to believe that. Morgause had ways in everywhere, and Morgana controlled her. He knew that Morgana had been the one to kill him so he wouldn't be able to tell anyone what really happened. 

"You're a great friend, Gwen," Merlin said.

She smiled sheepishly. "You're pretty amazing yourself," she replied.

Merlin went downstairs to say goodbye to his mother. Hunith was sitting in the living room with Kilgarrah in her lap and Gaius next to her. Gaius had refused to leave even after Merlin promised he hadn't felt pain in a few days. He kissed his mother's cheek and gave Gaius a hug.

"I'm going to go see Arthur," he said. "I won't be home until late."

Hunith looked at him skeptically. "You're spending all day with him?" she asked.

Merlin nodded and rubbed Kilgarrah behind his ears. His tail wagged enthusiastically. "I love you guys," he said.

"Love you too, Merlin. Be safe," Hunith said.

Gaius nodded in agreement. "See you later."

Yeah, Merlin thought. Right.

Merlin went to Lance's house first. Gwaine had spent the night with him, and Merlin wanted to say goodbye. Lancelot was the only one that knew what Merlin was going to do, and he had been forced to swear on his life that he wouldn't tell anyone. Not even Arthur. Merlin needed only one person to know what was happening, just so he could say if things were going wrong. He trusted Lancelot the most, even more than Arthur. He trusted Lancelot to take his word that this was the only way to do things. He didn't trust Arthur to not come after him. 

"What are you doing here, mate?" Gwaine asked as he opened the door.

Merlin smiled and gave Gwaine a hug. Gwaine was taken aback, but he didn't say anything.

"I need to talk to Lance," he said.

"Oh, okay. He's upstairs." Merlin followed Gwaine up to his room upstairs and saw Lance on the bed, typing something on his phone. He saw Merlin enter the room and put his phone down on the bed, shutting it off as he did so. He smiled at Merlin and Merlin smiled back.

"Can we talk alone for a minute?" Lance asked.

Gwaine nodded and quickly left the room without another word. Lance opened his arms and Merlin hugged him tightly. This was the one person he felt he could cry to about everything. This was the man that was his best friend and would be his best friend until the very end.

"I'm so scared, Lance," Merlin cried.

Lance nodded. "I know, I know."

"I'm not sure I can do this."

He pulled away. "Then don't do it," he begged.

Merlin shook his head. "I have to. It's the only way, Lance. I just... it's hard. Saying goodbye to everyone. Knowing I've seen my mother for the last time."

Lance nodded. He wanted to understand Merlin's thought process, but he couldn't. It was far too complicated. "I'll stand behind you no matter what," Lance said. "You know that."

"You've been the best friend I could have asked for," he smiled. 

"I'm going to miss you, Merlin."