Always Maybe

The Fight

When Merlin got to Arthur's house, he was sure it would be a fun night. He had driven with Gwaine and Lance, and the two wouldn't stop talking about how they were so excited to hang out with the Knights. It was no secret that the members of the Knights were not only the most popular guys in school, but usually the kindest, strongest, and most loyal. Gwaine and Lance couldn't believe that they were finally going to be given the chance to join, and Merlin couldn't have been happier for his friends to finally find a place where they felt at home.

"Hey, guys," Arthur smiled at the front door. "Everyone's in the living room."

Gwaine and Lance gave a thumbs up to Merlin and then walked back the living room to join the party. Arthur closed the door and took Merlin's hand. He led him into a small coat closet near the front door and pressed him to one of the walls before kissing him.

"I've waited to do that all day," Arthur smiled.

Merlin kissed Arthur again, but as soon as Arthur's hand snaked its way under Merlin's shirt, Merlin pulled back.

"We have to go or they'll get suspicious," Merlin winked. 

Merlin led Arthur out of the closet and down the hall to the party. Lancelot, Gwaine, Percival, Elyan, Leon, and Mordred (the newest recruit), were talking on the sofas when Arthur and Merlin came in. Merlin noticed Morgana, Gwen, and Morgause coming in from the other side of the room. Morgana had a smug look on her face that made Merlin clench his fists. What was she planning?

"Arthur, you didn't tell me the Knights were coming over tonight," Morgana said. 

It was no secret that everyone found Morgana attractive, even more so than Gwen sometimes.

"Oh, sorry," Arthur frowned.

"Mind if we join you?" Morgana asked, holding up a bottle. The bottle was empty, and Merlin knew what she was trying to do. All of the Knights smiled, figuring they were all going to get to kiss one of the fine ladies. Well, except for Morgause. No one really found her attractive, apart from Cenrid.

A circle was formed and Merlin sat nervously on the outside of it, assuming that Morgana had something up her sleeve for this seemingly innocent game.

"Merlin, aren't you joining us?" Morgana asked with her eyes as cold as daggers shooting into Merlin's.

"No, I'm not much for these party games," Merlin said.

In truth, he was upset that Arthur was partaking in this because Merlin would never dream of kissing anyone while in a relationship with someone, especially when that person was in the room!

"I don't recall that being the case during my birthday party," Morgana seethed.

The Knights chuckled, and Arthur went a little red with blush.

"If he doesn't want to play, he doesn't have to," Gwen argued. Merlin flashed her a smile, but Arthur pulled him down to the circle.

"Man up, Merlin," Arthur demanded. 

Percival was the first one to spin, and he landed on Gwaine. Gwaine and Percival had been childhood friends, so neither of them minded when Percival snuck across the circle and planted a loose kiss to Gwaine's lips. Everyone laughed as Percival retreated back to his spot and winked at Gwaine. Then Gwen spun and landed on Lance. Merlin smiled to himself, knowing how much Lance would be appreciating this short kiss.

When Morgana spun, Merlin watched with trepidation as it landed on him.

"Mm, Merlin," Morgana smiled. 

Merlin shook his head, refusing this. This had to be part of her plan!

"I don't want to play anymore," Merlin confessed, not that he had ever wanted to play in the first place.

"Seriously, Merlin? Is this because of our history?" Morgana asked.

All eyes turned to Merlin who was blushing from embarrassment.

"Our what?"

"Our history. I know we used to date, but you seriously have to get over that. I told you that I didn't love you!"

Merlin had no idea where this was coming from, and neither did Gwaine and Lance. They looked at Merlin nervously.

"What are you talking about?" Merlin asked.

"Come on, Merlin. Everyone knows that the real reason you're going out with Arthur is to get close to me again," she hissed.

Gasps erupted from the circle as Merlin stood up and sprinted out of the room, tears spewing out of his eyes like waterfalls. Why was Morgana trying to ruin his life?

He sat on the front steps of the mansion and found Arthur sitting beside him. He smiled, but it hurt.

"I can't believe this," Arthur said.

"I know. She's crazy and--"

"No," Arthur snapped, "I can't believe you. Why the hell are you using me to get to my sister?"

Merlin's mouth dropped wide open in shock at Arthur's words.

"Are you serious? You actually believe her?"

"Yes, I believe her! She's my sister, for crying out loud."

Merlin shook his head, the pain and anger redirecting itself towards Arthur.

"I was never dating her, Arthur! I never loved her," Merlin sobbed. "Why don't you believe me?"

Arthur sighed and put his head in his hands.

"She's family, Merlin. I have to believe her," Arthur said. 

"I know the importance of loyalty to family but-"

"No, you don't! Your father left you, Merlin! He didn't love you enough to stay. How could you possibly understand family when your own 'family' is so twisted?"

Merlin was taken aback from Arthur's words. He knew better than to fight back, because the pain Merlin was feeling was more than anger. It was his heart, and it was breaking.

"You can't take those words back, Arthur," Merlin explained.

Arthur jumped up from the steps and put his hands on his hips.

"I don't care. I'm sorry that everyone you love leaves you, but there's nothing I can do to help you."

With that, Merlin was left alone in the cold, stabbing feeling of the cold and his broken heart.