Always Maybe

For Me

Hey, loves. Chap. one of The Peculiarity of Grayson Cage is up. Please check it out! Love ya!

-bibliosoph

"Morgana."

Merlin's blood boiled at the sight of the person in front of him. Arthur looked pained by her presence, but Merlin knew he didn't fully understand. Arthur knew what Morgana had put Merlin through, but Arthur didn't know how much it had hurt. Sure, he had some idea of how Lancelot's death affected him, but he didn't know just how deep that pain went. Merlin had been so upset for days. Weeks. He'd almost killed himself just to make it stop. To make the pain go away. And now, just as he had gotten over it, she was back again.

Merlin feared for Arthur. For himself. For anyone and everyone. 

"Dinner's getting cold, Merlin. Better get inside," Morgana said. She was acting like nothing happened. Merlin wanted to punch her. It wasn't like nothing had happened. Everything had happened. She'd killed his best friend. He was ruined. She deserved to be punished. To rot. 

"Uh, I can't stay," Merlin said, backing away from the door. 

"Oh, course you can. I made chicken. Your favorite."

Merlin hated it that Morgana knew him well enough to know his favorite of anything. He hated that he had ever trusted her with anything, even something as small as his favorite type of meat. 

Arthur's eyes begged Merlin to go, and every bone in Merlin's body told him to run, but he didn't listen. He decided to challenge Morgana. He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. He told himself he could do it. Oh, did he want to believe that he could.

"Show me the way."

He followed Morgana into the house and to the dining room. Arthur walked by his side, the two close enough to hold hands. Merlin didn't want to be so daring in Uther's house. He didn't want Uther to look at them like they were some kind of disgrace like Merlin thought he would. 

"You shouldn't have come," Arthur whispered on the walk to the dining room.

"You invited me," Merlin chuckled.

"I'm serious. I know how hard it is for you to be here with her," Arthur sighed.

"No, you don't. But it's fine. I can handle it. I have to. She challenged me."

"Last time she challenged you, you almost died."

"But I didn't," Merlin said. A vision of Lance falling back after the shot rang through the empty warehouse flashed before Merlin's eyes. He almost collapsed, the memory consuming him. Arthur caught him as he stumbled over.

"It's alright, love. Just take it easy," he cooed. 

Merlin nodded. "I have to do this. For Lancelot."

"He wouldn't want you to put yourself through this, Merlin. You know that. You're not doing it for Lancelot."

"You're right," Merlin said, turning to his blond boyfriend. "I'm doing it for me."