Always Maybe

Not For Hours

Merlin hadn't really seen Arthur all day until it was time to go home. He had wanted to ask Arthur where he was all day, but he didn't. He didn't want to press him, not after everything that had happened.

But things felt okay now. Like this. With Arthur practically in his lap as they watched some half-decent show on the telly in Merlin's living room. Merlin decided that he'd never been more content in his life. Even Kilgharrah seemed to be enjoying himself, snuggled up against Merlin's other side. 

Merlin smiled as Arthur moved closer to him on the couch. He wrapped his arm around Arthur, letting him know that he was there. That he would always be there. They hadn't talked much about everything since it had all happened, but that was okay. They would talk later. When Arthur was ready. 

Arthur seemed to appreciate it because he turned and kissed Merlin softly like it was their first kiss. Merlin hummed in content and kissed him back. Kissed him harder. He kissed him until Arthur pulled away, panting.

"When's your mum coming back?" 

Merlin shrugged. "I'm on my own for dinner apparently, so who knows. A few hours, probably. Why?" 

Arthur kissed him again and got to his feet, extending his hand. Merlin took it, staring at him in confusion. 

"Arthur? What's going on?" 

Arthur didn't reply. Instead, he lead Merlin up the stairs and into Merlin's room. Merlin barely had time to register what was happening before Arthur had him shoved against the door which slammed behind them with a thud. Merlin kissed him back, of course. 

Even though they had kissed many times before, this felt different. Merlin couldn't help but feel like this might all be leading up to something, especially when Arthur started to trail a series of fleeting kissing down from Merlin's lips to his collarbone. He couldn't help but let out a small groan in response. This, of course, made Arthur smile and kiss his collarbone more in this seemingly sensitive spot. Merlin got so wrapped up in the kiss that he hadn't realized how quickly things were progressing––that Arthur was fiddling with the hem of his shirt as he kissed his skin, or that his pants were growing exceedingly tight. He pushed Arthur off of himself, bracing his hands on Arthur's shoulders to keep him at bay. 

Arthur had this sort of dreamy glint in his eyes that Merlin didn't understand. Arthur had never expressed an interest in this going any further than kissing. Merlin didn't mind, of course. Arthur was still coming into his feelings and Merlin certainly didn't want to rush him into anything that he wasn't ready for. But now, with Arthur taking control like this, Merlin felt like he had to say something. 

"A--Arthur," he panted, barely able to find his voice. 

Arthur looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Was that...was that not okay?" 

Merlin shook his head. He had to force himself to look up from Arthur's lips. "It was. More than. I just..." he sighed. "I'm reaching the point of no return here. I don't want to push you into--"

He was cut off as Arthur's lips collided against his once more. This time the kiss was soft, like it was downstairs. It was tentative and reassuring and Merlin couldn't help but melt into it. 

He pushed Arthur away again. "Arthur," he said, his voice cold and unwavering. He needed to be strong. He could do it for Arthur. He had to. 

"Merlin," Arthur said, pulling Merlin towards him again, their chests bumping. With this contact, Merlin could feel the muscles in Arthur's chest. He could feel the pounding of his heart in rhythm with his own. He could feel...Christ, he could feel. 

He let out a nervous chuckle. "I'm okay with waiting," he whispered. "I swear I'll wait. I'll wait until you're ready." 

Arthur growled in frustration, pushing himself into Merlin. "How are you not getting this?" He wrapped an arm around Merlin's waist. "I'm ready. I want this." He paused and looked Merlin dead in the eye. "I want you."