Jori

It's my secret. No one can take it away.

Jori.

Arachelle

It's been two months and a bit and I hadn't been to college much, I was about to drop out, so really don't care to be honest. I stood in front of my mirror deep in thought. I sighed whilst knowing I had to do something which would either kill me later or make life hard.

“Chelle babe.” I heard Marley coming up. I quickly stopped and ran to lay in my bed and covered my self. He walked in and smiled.

“Hi love, your mum's just nipped over to see a few friends, I'm going to work, will be back in the evening.” He smiled, I nodded and he waved and left. I sighed with relief, and pulled the covers off and quickly got dressed. I wore anything and put my hair back.

I left my house and took the bus and sat on it playing with my fingers, hmmm I hadn't done much with my life lately, just sit around and think, especially about Jori, my dad, my life....what I've let my self into.

I got off the bus and walked down the quiet road and felt really fidgety, really fidgety. I stood in front of the clinic and sighed. I could do this and no one will ever know about it, not him, not anyone. I can't kill, I'd kill my self if I kill this baby. It's done nothing wrong. I wanted to cry, I felt disgusting because it's not a good kinda thing when your 18 and pregnant and have nothing to do with the father. Jori wouldn't want this, this is why he'd hate me. He doesn't want kids, especially with me. I was beginning to show, I don't know why, but I felt like if I wore something tight everyone would know.

I had booked the appointment, I wasn't doing this because I could get out of it but because Jori would hate this, and me ever so much, but I can't kill. I sighed and walked in and didn't look at anybody waiting.

“Hi I've come to cancel my appointment..” I said quickly. She looked at me blankly and shrugged.

“Name?”

“Arachelle Williams?” I said sighing. She tutted.

“We could have given someone else the space.” She rolled her eyes. I screwed her.

“What? To kill innocent babies. I'm glad I took my time to come here and make the right decision and save also plenty more killing their children, have a nice day.” I huffed and stormed out. I zipped my puffy jacket up and sat on the bus stop.

“How my going to hide this? I really wanna run away to my dad's sisters house in Manchester. I can't stay here, everyone would know it's Jori's, and word will get back to him. He'd kill me, I promised him that last time we done it before the breakup I would take the pill, I must have forgot. If he was still with me he would of reminded me. I felt so shit, when I found out I cried for two weeks, and the more I did the more sick I was. Only I knew, I didn't want anyone else to. I couldn't even tell Becca, she'd tell Hayden, he would shout at Jori, then he would kill me. I sniffed and wiped my little tear. I feel like going back in there and getting rid of it, but it's done nothing wrong. Me and Jori have. I can't be a mum, I'd be shit, I'd get depressed on some days and take pills and go crazy. On the bright side it was Jori's baby, which was scary and cute at the same time. I took out my phone and looked at our pictures. He's not one to get someone pregnant, he's immature, happy loud, child-like, stupid and a complete wanker, but he's got his baby growing inside me. He's not even going to believe me, I know him so well. I just don't want this happening now he's at uni, it's so wrong. Well lucky him, I have to quit my education for this baby, if I don't get rid of it. I was in two worlds, kill it or live with it and the whole world know.

I love Jori so much, he's my world, I've been crap without him, he motivates me and makes me achieve so much. He makes me forget what a looney I am. We were good together, really good together. Two years and 3 months, that was so good. I gave him my frikkin virginity, because I thought he's never leave me. We just hit an all time low really. My bus came and I jumped on and went home. His mum came out of her house to put the bin out.

“My daughter come!” She shouted. I smiled and walked across the road to her door. She hugged me tight and kissed my cheek.

“How are you? So you can't even come and see your aunty heh?” She said frowning. I giggled.

“Hi, I've just not been well, that's all.”

“If it's that pothead, ignore him, he'll come around.”She rubbed my back.

“Mmm.”

“Come in have some tea, you can help me make dinner, he's going to come pick it up tonight.” She said excited.

“I think I shouldn't, I need to go home.”

“Ohh! Come on, or me?” I looked at her, she'll kill me in all. Her daughter is already pregnant and ran off, she'll murder me and Jori when she finds out. I couldn't bear the guilt of going in her home, cooking and within all that time not tell her I was 2 months pregnant, and just came from the abortion clinic, cancelling an appointment.

“How about next week?” I smiled. She nodded and was so happy.

“Come and visit me, okay?” I nodded and hugged her. I started walking off, I felt her watch me.

“Arachelle?” I hesitated, but turned and smiled. She looked at my body oddly.

“Are you okay my love?” I breathed in and smiled.

“Perfect.” I gave a fake smile. She nodded and waved me goodbye. I waved back and quickly walked off to my house. That was scary, omg she's so quick. I sighed and went in my house and closed the door. I went to eat something and was put off when I knew I was eating for two. I can't be pregnant, I'm not. It's all lies, the tests, everything. They must be. Yet i was having morning sickness and my body was changing.

I got a call from Hayden but since my pregnancy continued from two weeks onwards I didn't pick up any of his calls, I refused to speak to him. I sighed and busied it and went upstairs and wore something thick and lay under the covers just in case my mum walked in...I watched the door scared and held onto my stomach wondering what would happen to me in months to come, I felt so alone. I just wanted my Jori back, I miss him so much, I love him with all my heart. I can't do this without him, I'll kill myself in the long run, I'd do anything to avoid this humiliation, even die.

No one will know, I'll just have to hatch a plan other than killing this baby... I don't know, I'm so confused. Until it fully develops inside me, I'm not telling him.

He'd make me kill it. I'm having this baby somehow, it will have a live. I'm just confused.

There's always a way in life... I just go to find the light at the end of this dark tunnel.