Jori

Jori 20

Jori.

I woke up at three and poked her face for abit, she was sleeping. I slowly and managed to get the top off her, took me 45 minutes. I smiled and covered her up and lay in bed, I couldn't sleep, weren't tired. I got up and put the lamp on and sat on the floor. I saw this fluffy thing. I touched it and brought it out it was some diary thing. I was bored so you know, I went through it. It was like a life book thingi, you write.

There was a picture of some man, I think her dad, and all the things he likes and disliked, then she had written about his last few days.

*Day 102

Dad's is not really well, I can see everything coming to the end for him, and I'm not scared, because he's a good man, he believes in God, he'll go to a good place, what I'm scared of is me taking all these pills and not being able to see my mum. I don't know weather I should stop, just things happen and it gets me upset and I take them. I feel like one day, I'll overdose, I take way too much lately, it's really bad, especially with all the bullying I get from school, always getting hit because of Troy's lies, I don't even like him! Yet everyday my head seems to hit into a locker in the P.E rooms, because someone says they see me with other people's boyfriends. I hate living in England, I'd like to run away, but taking care of dad is number 1. I think he's gonna die in a few days, I don't know weather to tell anyone, I'm sitting here right now, looking at every cell in his body die, one by one, the strongest one that will be his last, will also weaken and die! I have taken care of him very well for 2 years, but now it's all going to waste, I've tried giving him 4 tablets, but it's not working, I can't call a doctor, because they will take him away and take the house and put me in a home like before, I just want him to get better,

Whatever happens, he's gonna always protect me, x*

My eyes widened and that was a bit depressing so I flicked through the next few pages, she wrote in some next red thing "DAD DIES!" It looked like blood, like dark dark blood. Fucking hell, who am I getting involved with, this is called "YOU'RE A PYSCHO" disorder! The way I held my neck and swallowed hard. I looked at her she was far away! In dream land. I kept flicking through pages, she stuck loads of pictures in of weird things, like a cemetery, and this park thing, and a dark room. Her photography was sick.

*Photography, inspired by daddy*

Aww, he musta taught her. I turned the pages, and there was drawing too, but dark ones, and weird things. I turned the pages and Ahh ME! Well you know! It had like a strip and it was just my eyes, it was sick, how the HELL did this girl take that! She's sly! It had all these yellow skittles glues on the page. I decided to read it.

* Jori, 5 September 1992 :).

It started off when I was in year 7, me being always alone, sit on a bench close by, then I would always see him, he was really nice, like proper nice! His hair was amazing, not even his eyes, the shape! He's totally amazing. He doesn't know this though. He doesn't think I exist, if he did, he'll be like everyone else, judge me by who I am! Always happened to me! Everyone would tell him to keep away from me! I really liked him,

I think it's getting worse! Anger seeing him with other people, I'm self harming, my dad's died on me so it's making it unbearable! I know it's crazy but I think one day we might be together, but I doubt it, I'm not his type probably, I'm no one's type. HE LOVES SKITTLES! He's truly amazing, for just being him! I wouldn't say I'm in love, even if it's three years, I know I'm obsessed with him, but I like him a lot.*

Wow she's keen ain't she. I turned the pages and there was like a 3 sheet spread of pictures of me, like different ones. Is some of these me, Damn Jori you're looking good, sizzling hot my brother! She like wrote little love quotes and shit. She was bare happy with herself. I kept looking at her to make sure she weren't watching me. I looked back at the book and it just me, me me.