Hell is loose (1) [Klaroline]

Lost and found

Caroline slowly opened her eyes and forced herself into an upright position. Her head felt heavy after only a few hours of sleep as she walked to the bathroom to take a shower. She let the cold water wake her up and then went out to the empty kitchen with her bathrobe on. She proceeded to boil water for her instant coffee and was about to take out two cups from the cupboard when she remembered that she was alone.

Caroline closed her eyes and took a deep breath to keep her feelings in check. Then she moved to the living room with the coffee in her hand and slouched into the corner of the sofa. She turned on the television, realising the clock was no more than eight, and switched to a random channel that showed a movie she began watching, her mind completely blank.

When the movie finished, Caroline woke up from her trance and quickly put on some jeans, a loose top and her dark denim jacket before stepping into a pair of black ballerinas and out of her front door. As soon as the cold wind hit her, it cleared up her mind and Caroline sped away to the cemetery.

She stopped her running in front of a white marble gravestone that read: "Elizabeth Forbes, 1972-2011". Caroline crouched down and let her fingers glide over the engravings under her mother's name: "Love is what makes us human".

Apparently her mother had included in her will that she wanted that sentence on her gravestone. Caroline didn't know what was most heart-breaking: that her mother had been prepared for this or that the sentence was directed towards Caroline.

Caroline lowered herself down on her knees, feeling the cold ground through her jeans. She then leaned back and took a deep breath to get her voice under control.

"Hey mom. I know it's been more than a week since I was here last but I've been quite busy. With the usual, you know. Scheming, plotting against Silas, making new vampire friends and enemies. And I visited a friend. In New Orleans. Yes, I visited him... I know you think it's a bad idea but it was my only idea on how to fix this. To avenge you."

Caroline stopped talking as she heard her voice break at her last sentence. She took several deep breaths before she looked back at her mother's grave.

"He's changed, though. I think. I don't know... But I've changed. Ever since you... since you died I've been different. I'm not sure how but I'm definitely not sweet little Caroline anymore. But I guess I haven't been that for a while now.

"I broke up with Tyler. Or he broke up with me. I don't even care... I'm okay, though. With the break-up. We couldn't keep pretending that what we were doing was the right thing. It took to much effort to be happy together. And all trust was gone. What is love without trust?

"Wow that sounded so cheesy." Caroline laughed silently to herself.

"But like I said, I'm fine... I've been to Spain by the way. With him. Just a couple of days. We had to find someone. I wish I could've stayed there but I didn't tell him. He never would have let me go home if I did. You know, I thought he didn't care anymore. About me... So much has happened since I saw him last. You would never guess it in a million years. You know that thing you once told me was your greatest achievement? Well, he's achieved that too. A beautiful boy. Crazy, huh?"

Once again Caroline had to stop and breathe as her mother's words rang in her ears: "I am so proud of you, Caroline. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. My greatest achievement. Don't you ever forget that. Not in a thousand years."

"I miss you so much, mom. I miss talking to you, although we never really did talk. I just miss your voice... I was in this church in Spain. It was so big. And beautiful. I wish you could've seen it. But I suppose you were there with me. You always are, you and dad. I know it doesn't seem like it but sometimes I feel so lost without you."