difficult | calum hood

05

Ashton

I was aware that Zoe had changed while I had been away, but I wasn't quite sure just how much. I was expecting to come home and find my little sister, not someone who looked like an adult. She was different now, and I'm not sure I liked the way the guys were looking at her. 

She had always been a pretty girl, but she had never really been all that confident in herself, didn't spend too long getting ready, was really shy around my friends - but now, she seems so much happier, but she spends longer in the mornings, she dresses in a slightly more adult way and is definitely comfortable around Michael and Luke. 

I never really knew how to put it into words, but a little part of me can see the way she looks at Calum. I refuse to believe it, but at some point, you just have to accept it. 

Sure, she isn't too keen on Calum, but does that mean she doesn't like him? 

Calum's a good kid, I know that, but if for some reason something happened between them, would I be okay with it? Would I be able to accept them? 

I want them to be friends, but what if it leads to more? 

The chances of them being together are relaxingly slim, so I have no need to worry. However, sometimes it's good to be prepared, to think ahead.  

***

"How do you do that?" I hear as I walk past Zoe's room later that night. I lean in the open doorway and watch the scene in front of me. Zoe is curling her long blonde hair and Calum is sitting on the bed behind her, watching her do it. 

"I'll show you, let me borrow your hair," she replies, giggling and turning around to face him with the curling wand in her hand. Calum just laughs and shakes his head, looking over to finally see me standing behind them. 

He quickly waves and looks back at Zoe, smiling instantly. "No way, my hair is way too short for that! You'll burn me." He huffs, folding his arms across his chest stubbornly. 

"No I won't, please?" She asks innocently, throwing her hair over her shoulder and looking at Calum. They stare at each other for a few seconds before I cough, and Zoe immediately spins around to face me. "Oh, hi Ashton. I was trying to get Calum to teach me to play bass, but he said I had to teach him something in return." 

She's never asked me to teach her to play drums. 

"That's nice." I say, and it's true, it's good that they're getting along. However, I don't understand how they suddenly went from barely being able to talk to each other to being like best friends. 

"You want some sibling time? I can leave," Calum says, slowly standing up and smiling at me. I shake my head and grin at him, looking back at Zoe. 

"No, it's fine. I should probably make sure Luke and Michael aren't burning the house down." I laugh, quickly turning around and walking away, running down the stairs which aren't far from Zoe's room. 

Zoe

I had finally sat down with Calum, him holding his bass guitar across his lap, when my phone rings from inside my pocket and I check the screen. 

As soon as I see that it's Hollie, I feel extremely guilty and stand up, answering the call and walking away, leaving Calum sitting on my bed confused. 

"Hey," I answer, locking myself in the bathroom. I wait nervously for her to answer, realising that I completely forgot we were supposed to be going shopping. 

"I don't want to get mad, but you completely forgot about me, and spent the day with Calum?" She hisses and I sigh, sitting on the edge of the bathtub. 

"It's not like that, I promise. We went out grocery shopping in the morning and it started raining, and there was a thunderstorm, and it took forever to get home-" 

"You still forgot about me." She cuts in, and I can sense just how mad she is. "You forgot about me, because you were spending time with him." She whispers his name like he's illegal, like we aren't supposed to talk about him at all. 

"He was being nice!" I argue defensively, instantly regretting it. "No, I'm sorry-"

"He was being nice?! I know that he can be nice, I dated him for 2 years, didn't I? Yeah, I dated him until he broke my heart and made me hate a day of love. And you stood me up for him?" She scoffs, and I'm almost crying, my bottom lip quivering and my eyes clouding over as they fill with tears. 

"I know, I'm a crappy friend." I whisper, but she's already hung up on me. 

This is the problem when it comes to famous people, everything they do and everyone they go with is thrown around the internet like they're unreal. Anybody could find out who Calum was with today, thanks to the paparazzi. 

I sit alone and in silence on the edge of the bath until someone knocks on the door, and rattles the handle. "Zoe, are you okay?" 

It's Calum, but no matter how hard I want to reply, I can't find it in me to do so. So I stay quiet and shiver, even though it's extremely hot. 

"Zoe?" 

I don't want to talk to him, I don't want to be friends with him. But most of all, I don't want to have a crush on him, one that's insanely deep and meaningful, one that makes me happy. 

"Zoe?" 

I ignore him again and hope he'll go away, sinking onto the floor and curling into a ball. 

Okay, so it wasn't a big argument, but nevertheless, we never argue. I think the last time we fell out was when we were about 13. I don't remember why, but I just know that we've always gotten over our bickering pretty quickly. 

I was being a horrible friend, but did she overreact? 

Probably not. 

Once I finally think Calum has gone away, I slowly open the door, and turn back into my room. But there he is, sitting on my bed with his legs crossed, his face screwed up in worry, his dark eyebrows  knitted together. 

As much as he makes my heart race, and my breathing slow, I can't look at him. "Get out." I say quietly and his head snaps up, just as I look down. 

"What?" He whispers, his speech slow and sad. 

"Get out." I repeat, my tears falling down my cheeks now, I look up and my eyes lock with his. I can't tear my eyes away but I so badly want to. "I said, get out." I say louder, curling my hands into fists and trying to stop my tears. 

He looks shocked and hurt, but there's nothing I can do. 

I have to stay loyal to my best friend. 

"Calum! Get out." I snap, raising my voice and looking at him angrily. He nods and picks up his bass guitar, walking passed me with his head down. 

"Do you want a hug?" He asks, stopping just before he leaves my room. 

As tempting as his offer is, and no matter how much I want to run forward into his arms and hold onto him forever, I can't. 

Shaking my head quickly, I look away from him. My tears are only getting heavier and faster, and I need him to leave, as quick as possible. 

"Zoe? I hope everything's okay." He whispers, before finally leaving and closing the door behind him. Immediately, I collapse onto my bed and cry, my whole body shaking as the tears and cries escape from me. 

Something always messes it up, doesn't it?