difficult | calum hood

13

I was having one of those days. 

Cramps, arguments, bad skin, tired, upset, make up didn't go right, hair wouldn't sit right, you know the story. 

My monthly cycle had begun. 

So far, I'd managed to control my emotions very slightly, however, trying to stop myself from crying when I saw Calum was extremely difficult, but hey, I managed and that's what's important. 

Well, I managed the first time. 

"Zoe do you wanna watch this with us?" Mikey asks from the living room as I search through our bathroom cupboards for pain killers.  

"No! No, I don't! Okay?! Is that a problem?" I snap at the boys, storming into the living room and bursting into tears at the sight of Calum sitting with his feet in Ash's lap. "Sorry-" I gasp, slamming my hand over my mouth and running out of the room. 

"Zoe?" Ashton calls after me but I ignore him, wiping the tears from my face. Reaching my bedroom, I collapse onto my bed and groan, searching through my bedside table for pain killers. "Zoe..." 

"Go away." I snap at my brother, throwing a cushion towards him. "This is your fault anyway! You make the rules! Ugh." I stand up and slam the door closed, leaving him in shock. 

"Zoe... What's wrong?" Ashton calls from the other side of the door but I drop to the floor, curling up into a ball and crying. 

When I get my period, I get very emotional. 

Ashton finally leaves me alone and I'm quick to change out of my clothes and into my pyjamas, wiping off all of my makeup and leaving my hair down. I take ages moisturising and exfoliating, before applying some concealer and placing my hand over the door knob. 

I make my way back downstairs, entering the living room shyly. 

"Michael?" I whisper, crossing my arms behind my back and shuffling in my feet. He nods and looks up at me, Calum looking at me as well. Heat rushes up my cheeks but I fight it back. "I'm sorry for shouting at you like that. It's just, uh, bad day." 

"What's wrong?" Calum is quick to ask, which attracts everyone's attention.  

"Oh, um," I pause and look at him, my lip trembling slightly. I just want him so much, it hurts. With a shrug, I sit down in Ashton's lap, Calum beside me. "It's just, hormones... And stuff." I mumble, holding  my stomach and hoping he gets the point. 

Cal stares at me blankly, his eyes drifting to my hands and back to my face. "Oh," his face lights up as he realises and he nods slowly. "Are you alright?" 

"Yeah, I guess. Michael do you forgive me?" I turn back to Mikey and smile softly. He smiles back and nods, sticking his thumb up. 

Leaning my head back so it's rested against Ashton's shoulder, I close my eyes tightly and exhale. Calum leans on Ash's other shoulder and takes my hand behind his back, invisible to Ash. 

I grin and keep my eyes closed, squeezing his hand. 

It's nice, and peaceful and makes me almost forget everything. 

That's when the doorbell rings. 

"I'll go get it," Luke says, jumping to his feet and taking a few strides to the door. 

We all listen to it open, and none of us can hear what he's saying, but the mumbling sounds awkward. Calum gives my hand another squeeze and smiles at me from across Ashton's body. 

"Oh, uh, Zoe, it's for you." Luke's head pops around the corner of the door and he shoots me an apologetic look. 

"Who is it?" I jump out of Ashton's lap and drop Calum's hand. Making my way to the front door, Luke pats my shoulder supportively. 

Standing at the door is Hollie. 

"Oh. Hi." I mumble, standing awkwardly in front of her with my arms crossed. 

"We need to talk, Zoe." She states. Her voice is cold, and from looking at us without knowing, I'm 100% certain we wouldn't look like best friends. "I just, I hate to be controlling and stuff, but I really don't feel comfortable with you spending so much time with Calum-" I open my mouth to interrupt but she shoots me a look and keeps talking. "He hurt me, and now, you're hurting me. We're supposed to be best friends, Zoe. And do you really wanna throw all that away?" 

I stare in shock, not believing the words coming from her. "So, you're telling me, that if I continue to spend time with my friend, we can't be friends?" She looks at me like I'm stupid. "Also, you hurt him first so you had no right to be upset about what he did to you!" 

"This is the problem - he's getting in your head and it's not good! You're my best friend, don't lose me." 

This time, it's my turn to look at her like she's stupid. 

"You need to understand, Hollie. Just because I'm friends with him, doesn't mean I like you any less. Best friends don't  control each other like this. So maybe you should take some time to think," I pause. "Because this-" I wave my hand between us. "- is not how best friends act. So until you've figured everything out, don't even try speaking to me." 

She rolls her eyes and turns away. "Whatever, I don't need someone like you in my life anyway." 

"You know what, Hollie? Go to hell!" I shout after her, about turn around myself. 

"I'll see you there!" She shouts back, walking sassily down the path and away from my house. 

I groan in frustration and slam the door, grabbing my flip flops and slipping them onto my feet. I storm through to where the boys are and huff, standing in the door frame. 

"You stood up for me?" Calum whispers, looking across Ashton at me. Our eyes meet and I nod, not letting my gaze break from his. "Why?" 

Shrugging, my eyes fall to the floor and I sniff. "You didn't do anything wrong and she was being unreasonable." 

"Well, thank you. It means a lot." He nods along to my words and Ashton turns to face me, shooting me a supportive look. 

"You did the right thing Zo." Ash says proudly. I nod and wiggle my toes, slowly walking away. 

"I'm just gonna head down to the beach for a walk, is that okay?" 

But I'm already gone, holding back my tears, I let them fall as soon as I'm out of the house. I run round to the side of our house and down the little lane that leads to the small beach. Not many people come here, since you only really have access to it if you live in one of the houses lining the shore. It's not private, we don't own it, but people don't like to come so close to the houses just to go to this beach when there's a much larger one just down the road. 

I wipe away my tears and make my away along the sand, kicking pebbles and shells out of the way. More tears fall, they're warm and salty and remind me of the sea. 

I find a large rock and sit down on it, resting my head in my hands. 

Author: it's like 1:30am and all I wanna do is write help me. 

It's Saturday though so no school when I wake up yay