difficult | calum hood

36

Ashton

When I get back with Luke and Michael in tow, Calum and Zoe are sitting on opposite couches exactly like they were when I left them. Calum is staring at the to, which isn't even on, and Zoe is looking down at her phone. My eyes wander until they meet Calum's and I give him a confused look. 

I turn to talk to Michael, and I catch Zoe looking at Calum and pulling a face, she looks at me and then quickly at the floor. 

"What's up with them?" I mutter under my breath, and Michael and Luke share a scared look. There's something going on. There's something that they aren't telling me about. I remember Zoe's preteen crush on Calum and think about how I was never really sure if it went away. 

"Cal, help me with this?" Luke says, nodding towards the kitchen. 

"With what?" Calum asks, confused and warily glancing over at me and Luke. Michael is sitting beside Zoe now, blocking my line of vision to her. 

"Just come and help me!" Luke snaps, and Calum slowly rises to his feet, following Luke through to the kitchen. 

I move so I can see Zoe and watch her practically drool over Calum as he makes his way from the living room, and that's when I really know something is going on. 

"Michael can we talk?" I ask quietly, and Zoe looks at me with wide eyes. 

It all makes sense. The way they suddenly went from hating each other to being best friends, the noises Harry was hearing, the awkwardness between them, the way she pretended to date Michael. 

There's something between Calum and my little sister, and the thought makes me feel slightly sick. 

"Yes?" Michael asks after I've lead him to the basement. "Ash, are you okay?" 

"What has Calum done to my sister? What's happening between them? Is it just like, sex, or something else?" I ramble, and Michael is shocked. "Oh god, I'm gonna be sick." 

"Ash, I don't know. He likes her, I know that. She likes him. I don't know if they're working something out or what, but I think it's been hard on them. They both feel like they're betraying someone, so until they confirm anything, just leave them be? I know it'll be hard but Ashton, don't make things worse." Michael speaks slowly and I groan and cover my eyes. 

"Ew, ew, oh my god. I'm actually gonna throw up." I lean my head back and shake it. Whatever I do, I can't get the image of them together out of my head. I just want to find him upstairs and throw him into the wall, but then help him up because he's one of my best friends. 

I want to find her and argue with her until she's crying but then hug her and stop her tears because she's my sister. I don't know how I feel, but it's not a good feeling. 

My body starts to shake, and Michael places his hands on my shoulders. "Ash, I don't know what's happening. They might not even be together." 

I hold onto that tiny piece of hope, because if I let go, I could lose my sister to my best friend, and vice versa. 

I can't be bothered trying to face either of them so I run for the front door and jump into my car, holding back tears and driving angrily.

I'm scared to lose either of them, and angry that they didn't tell me. I'm angry at them for lying, and that makes me angrier. 

Michael phones me, and so does Luke, but I keep driving. I can only imagine the chaos back at home and I long to take my anger out on a set of drums. So, I park by the school to see if anyone is in. Luckily for me, there's a light on on the ground floor and a Ford car parked outside.

I park wonky and storm to the front door, pushing the enter button while taking a deep breath. 

The only people there are the old secretaries, and one of them instantly recognises me and hugs me. I politely ask if I can use the drum kit in the music department and she doesn't take any persuading, she gives me the key and tells me to enjoy. 

I practically sprint to my old music classroom and unlock the door hurriedly, thinking of Zoe and Calum the whole time. I sit down behind the drums and adjust them slightly to accommodate my longer legs. I grab the old crappy drumsticks and start playing, releasing all of my anger into the music. 

I'm sweaty once I'm finished the first song, and pull off my shirt to play the next. 

All of the surprise and anger built inside of me is erupted into the room around me, until I snap one of the drumsticks by accident and swear, stopping and leaning my head on the hi-hat. 

Panicking, I find some Scotch Tape and tape the broken drumstick to the front of the drumkit, along with a sticky note that reads;

Sorry I broke the stick , Ashton Irwin X

I leave 10 dollars on the teachers desk and lie down on the floor, admiring the 5 Seconds of Summer poster on the wall opposite. 

Me and Calum are standing beside each other, and that's when I start to cry.