difficult | calum hood

37

Zoe 

I fall asleep that night shaking with nerves. There was something up with Ashton, and no matter how many times I tried to talk to him after he finally came home, he wouldn't even look at me. Calum, was also acting weird. He wouldn't touch me, or talk to me. Not since Luke  took him to 'help' him with something. I felt like Michael was the only person still acting normally, but maybe a bit too normal. 

So, I go to bed crying and trembling and worrying. My heart wants to hurt less than it does, and I want nothing more than a hug from Calum to assure me everything is okay. 

The next few days go by basically the same as that night, except Calum's eyes meet mine one too many times over the kitchen table in the evenings. 

"Beach anyone? Cinema? Pool?" Michael says on the fourth day, and everyone just shakes their heads and looks around awkardly. Calum glances at me and leans his head in his hands. Ashton quickly glares at him, before turning to Michael and shaking his head. 

"No. I don't think so." He says coldly and leaves the room. Calum goes tense and stares at me, his lips curving into a worried frown. 

"Come on, we need to do something." Michael whines, and Luke looks from me to Cal, and then through to where Ashton went. 

"Sorry mate, doesn't seem like it's gonna happen." He mutters, clapping Michael on the shoulder and sighing. 

The four of us stay in silence awkwardly until Mum comes through the door with Harry and some of his friends. "Zoe will you help me take them down to the soccer pitches?" She asks politely, and I nod, jumping at the chance. "Calum, you come to. You can coach them." Mum laughs at this, but Calum awkardly stands to his feet and wobbles over to me and my mum. 

"I'll come!" Ashton shouts, running through from the kitchen, his face red and determined. 

"No, Ash. I need you to stay here for when Lauren gets home." Mum says lightly, shrugging it off like its no big deal. "She'll be home around 6." 

I can see the pain in Ashton's eyes as he forces himself to the couch and flops down beside Luke, leaning his head sadly on Luke's broad shoulder.  Luke sighs and forces a chuckle, patting my brothers head in attempt to lighten the mood. 

"Zoe? Calum? You ready now?" Mum asks and Harry and his friends look up at his hopefully. I nod and Calum nods, and we stay as far away from each other as possible. 

Once we arrive at the soccer pitches, Harry and his friends run on to them, racing each other. Me and Calum hang back by Mum's car, and she stays in the vehicle. "Look, all summer I've been running around after Harry and Lauren, so I may of booked lunch with one of my friends, do you mind if I head off and leave you two in charge?"

"Not at all, you have fun." Calum says politely and I groan, turning around and making my way down the grass to the soccer fields. 

Calum runs after me and wraps his arms around my waist, picking me up and spinning me around. "We're all alone... I want to make the most of this, Zoe. When do we tell him?" 

"Thursday." 

"Thursday. Right." He places me on the grass beside Harry's current game of soccer and sits down beside me. "Well, Miss Irwin. I don't know what will happen after Thursday, so I want to treasure every moment with you. I love you so much. I love you so much it hurts sometimes. You make me happy, Zo. You make me happiest and strongest and when I'm with you, nothing else could get to me." He pauses and gulps, then when I turn to face him, his eyes are brimming with tears. "I don't want to be without you." He stutters, looking into my eyes. 

I stay quiet and cup the back of his neck, pulling his face into mine. He initiates the kiss, locking our lips and closing his eyes tightly. 

He kisses me like someone is taking me away, like we're never going to see each other again. He pours his heart into that kiss, and I find myself doing the same thing. 

When he pulls away, no words are shared, but he pulls me closer and wipes away the tears that I didn't even realise we're falling down my cheeks. Neither one of us utter a word, we just lay in the sun until Harry runs over to us and demands that Calum plays soccer with him, not asking why we're crying or why we've been kissing.

i long for Calums  touch, so join them on the field, attempting to play as well, but it resulting in Calum carrying me on his back the whole time. 

"Hey gorgeous, watch this." Calum winks and flicks the ball up with his feet and catching it, handing it to me to throw at Harry and his friends. 

The game evolves from soccer into a strange game we seemed to have created. Everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves, and it's only when mum comes back hours later that we realise how late it is. 

Calum slings his arm around my shoulders as we sit in the car on the way back home, after dropping off Harry's friends at their own houses. Mum glances at us through the rear view mirror a few times, trying not to smile. "Are you two going back home?" She asks, slowing the car. 

Calum looks at me and then at my mum, smiling politely. "Yes please."

We both want to run to his house and collapse on his bed, just to be alone. However, we both know that by doing that, it would raise questions and we don't want that yet. 

He goes into the house first with my Mum, and I wait behind for Harry. Life seems to slow down as I make my way up the path, and everything seems to stay quiet. 

I can already tell, Thursday is not going to go well.