difficult | calum hood

03

When Calum first moved here, we were joined at the hip. For that summer, he was my best friend. Sure, he was 2 years older than me, but we were like siblings. And when school started again, him and Ashton became so incredibly close and it felt like I had been completely forgotten. 

When I was 16, my best friend Hollie went slightly insane and dropped out of school, at this time my brother and his friends were just graduating, and her and Calum got into this picture perfect relationship. He would spend weekends coming home to her, and she used to go away for weeks at a time to visit him. 

They lived in their own little world, but they didn't know that  Calum was like my sun, my brain circled around him, he kept my life happy and bright, but of course to them I was the moon, I was always there but  they were never there at the right time to see me. 

***

I wake up the next morning, and get dressed into a pair of high-waisted distressed denim shorts, a navy lace bralette and a white lace kimono. I run  a brush through my long blonde hair and straighten it, delicately doing my makeup like I'm heading to a festival. My eyelids are golden and sparkly and my  lips are a light pink nude colour. 

When I go downstairs for breakfast, I'm greeted by Luke and Micheal in their boxers, both holding bowls of chocolate cereal. "Mornin' Zo." Michael nods, and I quickly smile at him, running through to the kitchen. 

"Good morning Zoe." Ashton says, and Calum looks up from where he's sitting at our kitchen table. "What's your plans for today?" Ash continues, and my eyes meet Calum's. His cheeks go pink, and I'm sure mine do the same, so we both quickly look away and I avert my attention back to Ashton. 

"Oh, um, I was gonna go shopping with Hollie to get some more stuff for summer," I answer, making sure her name is barely audible. Calum acts like he doesn't notice, or he really doesn't care. "And I'm having a party later, Lauren and Harry are going to their friends' and mum is going to the spa with her friend." 

"You're having a party?" Ashton asks, pouring himself some cranberry juice. I nod and grab some fruit to make myself a fruit salad. 

"Yeah, we're probably gonna spend most of the time at the beach though." I answer, quickly chopping up some kiwi. "You guys can come." 

"Uh, will Hollie be there?" Calum suddenly speaks up, looking up from his cereal and making me place my knife down. 

"Of course," I answer, slightly too quickly. "She's my best friend." I pick up the knife again and start slicing up strawberries. 

"Sorry," Calum says, slightly sarcastically, his eyes meeting mine. His glare is cold and hard and makes me feel bad, I don't want him to dislike me. 

Ashton shoots Calum another awkward glance, before returning his eyes to me and inhaling slowly. "Yeah, we'll all come." He answers, stealing a piece of my fruit and throwing it in his mouth. I nod and throw all of my fruit into a bowl, grabbing a fork and sitting down opposite Calum. 

I can feel his eyes on me as I eat my fresh fruit, so I lift my eyes to meet his and glare at him. "What?" I snap, and he shakes his head and slowly turns away. 

Ashton groans from beside me and shakes his head, grabbing the bowls of breakfast from me and Calum. We both turn to face him and raise our eyebrows. "Look, Zoe, if we're gonna be here all summer I'm gonna need you two to at least try and get along. I get that he hurt your best friend-"

"On Valentine's Day." I cut in, shooting Calum a glare. 

"Yes, yes, I get that. I understand it's hard for you to forgive him, but at least forget about it for this summer? And Calum, quit acting like you've done nothing wrong and it's Zoe in the wrong because it isn't. Sure, she probably should've forgiven you by now, but you need to show her why!" Ashton's voice rises at the end before he sighs and hands us our cereal back. 

"M'sorry." Calum mumbles, looking at me and half-smiling. I nod and stir my fruit around in a bowl. 

"Sorry." I whisper, looking up and letting my hazel eyes meet his brown ones. He nods back and shovels some cereal into his mouth.

He's all I could think about last night as I laid in bed, wide awake and wishing he never dated Hollie. Wishing I was more than just his friend's little sister. 

"Okay, bye kids!" Mum distracts me by entering the kitchen and pulling Ash into a hug. "If I had known you were coming I never would've organised this." 

"No, it's fine honestly. I don't want to be treated like a miracle. Just act like I'm normally here." Ash says, as Luke and Michael come through to say goodbye. 

"Okay," Mum whispers, kissing the side of his head and waving at me. "Luke, Michael put on more clothes, Lauren doesn't need to see that." She says, smiling kindly at Calum and not even looking at Luke and Mikey to say this. "Lauren's getting picked up at 4 and Harry is getting picked up at 6." 

"Yeah, I know, mum relax." I say, giggling at her. She nods and slings her bag over her shoulder, waving one last time before heading towards the door. I smile and stand up, grabbing my purse and keys. "Ash, you stay here just in case something happens to Harry or Lauren. Im just heading out to get some stuff for tonight." 

Ash turns to look at me and narrows his eyes. "Not alone." He says, taking a bite of toast and glancing around the room. 

"What? Why?" I ask, confused. My brother just rolls his eyes at me and looks at Luke. 

"You're barely wearing any clothes and you might need help." Ash says, looking back at me and folding his arms across his chest. 

I groan and copy his actions, folding my arms stubbornly. "I'll have you know, this is a bralette not just a bra." I snap, knowing fine well that that was what he meant. 

"Whatever. One of the boys can go with you." Ashton says, sitting down again and continuing to eat his breakfast. 

I groan and spin around to face Luke and Michael, looking at them expectedly. "I'll do it, but I need to get dressed first." Luke mumbles, placing his bowl on the kitchen counter and beginning to turn around. 

"No, I don't have time, I need to leave now." I say, looking back at Ash and raising my eyebrows. "Can't I just go alone?" 

"No, Calum will have to take you."