little miss popular

•••

okay so i'm sorry

i have no stories from class recently

buT

he leaves in exactly TWO WEEKS

and i'm very sad

i don't know what to do

do i ask him about possibly liking me? and then be rejected? or just remain as awkward friends? or will some supernatural (😏) force just descend from above and make him like me back, only to have two weeks together?

i've had people tell me to get his number

i can try, but i'm not exactly that confident, especially around him.

i get flustered and sometimes stutter.

idk

all i do know is:
-he's dropping out of school in 2 weeks when he turns 18
-idk whether we're even FRIENDS, let alone if he likes me as more than friends
-i don't have any way to contact him for after he leaves

AND

my english teacher is considering changing seats next week

it's wednesday

i won't be in class on friday

so i only have TOMORROW to do something

because he only talks to me during class

(except yesterday when we had to sit at the same lunch table because our schedules were messed up for testing and we ended up next to each other; he called me "little miss popular" in front of everyone at the table and jaws dropped because everyone assumed that we never have spoken a word and he used a 'pet name' for me)

but i'm freaking out

idk if i've mentioned this, but i got 2 anonymous candy grams around christmas time; one says:
"have a nice holiday, merry christmas ❤️"

and the other simply says:
"see you in english class"

i've thought it was him for a while, but i've never said anything.

i did get my english teacher to try and analyze the handwriting when i got them though.

she suggested that it was him before even looking at the handwriting

but she did eventually look at them and she's 95% sure it's from him.

i'm planning to ask him about it tomorrow

on my last day sitting next to him

☹

i feel like this story is going to end soon with tears...

a lot

(of tears)

********************************************

okay so this book

it's a spastic mess

i'm sorry

but guess what?

the entire book

is 100% true

this is a nonfiction story

i'm actually publishing this chapter right now because i can't stop thinking about him

and this situation

and tomorrow

i feel like i'm gonna puke on his shoes or something

uGH

why

someone please take these feelings away before i get even more hurt

please