little miss popular

•••

hi

i guess the story is basically over now

i mean, he left without either of us saying a word to each other

and i know there's no way he's going to make any efforts to talk to me

because i was just a blip in his life

when he was such a big part of mine that i'm still thinking about him even after an entire month of no conversing

i shouldn't care for him anymore but i still do because he made me feel true happiness and he opened my eyes to what it's like for me to have someone else to talk to romantically

he showed me that i become overly attached to people and i can't handle myself when they leave

he's showed me what it's like to take something for granted

and this is important for me because i now know why he was a part of my life

he wasn't the blessing

he was the lesson

(you know, the 'everyone in your life is either a blessing or a lesson' thing)

because i wondered this whole time why this had happened

so now i know

but that doesn't mean i miss him any less

because i still miss him so much; i crave to just even see his face again

but i won't text him, because i know he'll say something like "fuck off" and i honestly deserve it

and now, i can move on past these feelings and just stop looking for and wanting a relationship

because i'll become attached to and dependent of that other person, and i'll end up weighing them down

i've been doing this to people my entire life it seems

and it took him for me to finally realize

so this stops now

**********

(i told you that this wasn't going to have a happy ending)