little miss popular

•••

i shouldn't be

but i can't stop thinking about him

i just want to text him again

text him for hours until one of us gets sleepy and he'll call me a cute nickname that'll make me blush and fall asleep thinking about how cute he is

i just want him back

fuck the ignoring

i can't do it anymore

it's hurting more than him having to leave

because he's on my mind

all the fucking time

him

he's on my mind more than dan and phil

(which is really saying something tbh)

i want to know why he decided to flirt with me in the first place

i want to know what he liked about me

i want to know if he talked about me to other people

i want to know what my contact is in his phone

-kat?
-little miss popular?
-cupcake?
-sunshine?
-gato?

i want to know so much

and i want to stop ignoring him and just fucking talk like a normally functioning human being

also i read this today:

"it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all."

so i just want to talk to him again

ofc it's memorial day weekend rn, so i won't see him for an extended period of time

and that's if he even shows up

because he might just not come again or finally decide to drop out

idk why he didn't drop out sooner, like he said he would before

whatever

my mind's spinning

and all my thoughts are filled

there's some thoughts about dan and phill currently

but the majority of my thoughts:

-first think when i wake uo
-all day
-last thing before i go to sleep

it's all him.