Try Hard

Chapter 10

He just left. He left me sitting on my bed. I mean I didn't know what was going to happen if he didn't have to leave and frankly I wanted to know. But now I don't at the pace were going one wrong move and I will be in last place while he is still in first. I got up off my bed an grabbed my bag from my desk. Might as well do some homework. I pulled out my advance biology textbook and my laptop on my lap.

I was about to finish my calculus homework when there was a knock on my door. Which wouldn't surprise me before but know in that state that I'm in surprises me a lot.

"Come in." I called quietly not looking up as the door opened and closed. It was quiet as I heard the shortly of footsteps creak in this older home. "Can I help you?" I asked a little irritated.

"Oh yea sorry." Tanner said causing me to look up.

"What are you doing here?"

"You don't want me here?"

"No sorry I just thought you were some one else." I lied. I actually don't really want to see anyone but Louis right now.

"I was worried because you weren't at school today." He said clearing his throat.

"Took a personal day. Feeling a bit sick." I lied again.

"Oh I just thought maybe you got hurt or something." He said.

"Well if you were really worried you would have called as soon as you saw I wasn't coming to school." I snapped the words coming out before I could think.

"I just thought you were running late." He said clearly taken aback by my outburst.

"Obviously I wasn't." I sighed looking back at my calculus book.

"I'm sorry for bothering you." He said quietly and turned the floor creaking underneath him.

"Wait Tanner I'm sorry if it seems like I'm leading you in it's just that your more of a brother to me." I said as I watched the glimmer of hope in his eyes vanish.

"Don't be." He said with a weak smile and closed the bedroom door behind him.

Great now I feel worse with what I said to Tanner. I mean I knew I was going to have to tell him soon but I still feel so bad. Like I just yelled at a cute little puppy and now I instantly regret it. I closed my calculus book pushing them off my bed and then they landed with a loud thud in the floor. I turned off my lap top and slid off my jeans and replaced them with some light blue cotton shorts.

I laid down in my bed back to square one thinking about Louis nonstop and feeling bad about myself. It seems like whenever I try to do something for myself I end up hurting some one who is dear to me. Then it makes me feel like a complete bitch and I hate it.

I couldn't deal with this anymore I need some fresh air some calming thoughts. I slipped out of bed the moonlight shining on my face as I slipping back into my jeans and shoved my feet into some boots. I grabbed my bag and swung it over my hand as it landed softly on my shoulder.

I walked and closed the door softly and tipped toed down the hall and then down te stairs pausing momentarily to listen to the quiet house. I opened the front door and the cool night breeze sent shivers down my spine. I walked down the small concrete pathway and on the damp sidewalk.

I walked down into town small shop lights glimmering with lights. This is probably the nicest things about this place. The quite and quaint downtown that glows with warmth and life. I gripped into my bag and walked into a small open coffee shop. The smell of coffe beans and pastries wafted in my nose causing me to feel a comfortable warm sensation.