Try Hard

Chapter 26

unedited

Ellie's POV:

It's been two weeks since I last talked to Louis. The time that I talked to him was in the hospital but then he left right away saying he had some things to take care of and he never came back. he would always do this leave me for a while and not come back until out of the blue he would show up at my door a smile plastered to his face and sporting a new bruise or cut. I didn't feel like it would be any different this time.

I was lying in bed not willing to get out of the warm blankets that enclosed me and kept me safe. that and the fact that I wasn't wearing any pants and I didn't have the urge to get up. I rolled over in my stomach and grabbed my phone looking to see if I got any new notifications and of course I didn't which didn't surprise me. I gently kicked off the covers and swung my legs over the edge of the bed looking down at the scars that adorned my thighs. I sighed running my hand over them as the horrific memories flashed in my mind. I shook my head getting up and stretching and pulling on some worn out jean pants and pulling on a black jumper and tying my hair up.

I walked to the bathroom splashing the cold water on my face. I didn't have the energy to put on any make up and it was holiday so there was no point. The house was empty as usual. Tatiana was at a friends house and my mom and dad were at work. I was left alone with my thoughts that seemed to be consumed of Louis.

For the past two weeks I have waited for him to show up at my door. Faint bruises on his skin or a healing cut on his lip. But there has been no word from him and I've been stuck in a cloudy grey haze. I sat on the couch a bowl of cereal in my hands as I watched tv not really paying attention to what I was supposed to be watching. Its funny because even when Louis isn't here he is all I ever think about.

I ended up falling asleep because I woke up the sun was no longer making me squint my eyes but the sun was falling behind the houses. I sat up and stretched an looked around teh living room. Tatiana's book bag was thrown on a chair and there was a sound of faint music coming from uptairs. So I knew she was in her room but  the back door was open as a cool breeze brushed against my exposed skin causing a chill to crawl up my body. I walked over clutching my arms around my waist and pulled close the door. I sighed raking my hands through my hair and walking back to the couch where a evening program was playing and i flipped through the channels tiredly. As I tried to decide what to watch a loud bang came from the kitchen causing me to jump and grip the remote in my hand. 

Slowly I got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen and turned the corner quickly the remotely hitting the inturder straight on. "Bloody hell!" he yelled causing me to look up through the hair that fell in front of my eyes.

"Louis..." I breathed my heart racing and my legs shaking.

He didnt say anything to me but I felt my grip on the remote loosen and heard it clatter to the ground as I fell into Louis and his strong arms wrapped around me as a strange comfort filled my body once more. We stayed like that  for awhile me gripping on to the collar of his t shirt that smelled like cigarettes and the rain. He held me close to his pulling me closer to him as if we weren't close enough together. I buried my face in his chest coming to the realization that he is back after two weeks of falling off the face of the earth he is back in my kithen as i held him close to me feeling the heat of his body against me. 

Then it hit me. He left me alone in the most fragile state I have ever been in without so much of a call or text. I pulled away suddenly filled with anger as he looked down at me confused as to why i pulled away from him.

"How could you? No, how dare you even come back and think that everything is alright and that we can just pick up from where we left off!" I shouted pushing at his chest.

"Ellie..." he began but i cut him off again.

"It just doesnt work that way Louis. You can't just waltz back into my life thinking that it is okay to do so. Because I'm not okay. I feel like shit! You made me feel like shit! Two damn weeks I've waited for you to call or show up unexpectedly but you didn't. You didn't give even text! I mean the least you could fucking do is text! But no you didn't you just left me here!" I yelled my anger slowly dwindling down as I yelled at him some more and shoved him into the dining table. "I fucking love you and you just got up and left." as hot tears began to fall down my face and I began to slap him chest mummbling incoherent nonsense. 

Louis let it happen until I began shaking from the tears as he grabbed onto my wrists to stop me from hitting him. "Ellie,babe I know I screwed up. Hell I always screw up but you have stopped me from screwing up with you I don't feel like a screw up where peopel just wonder if I'm gonna explode and end up in prison one day. Ellie you make me feel like an actual person not like the piece of shit that I am." he said placing a cold hand under my chin and raising my head so that I was looking into his tired eyes. "You're my sanity. I need you." he spoke and I just felt myself fall.

Those were the words I've been dying to hear and when he said them aloud my heart felt like it might just explode an my insides churned as i tried to wrap my head around his words. But he didnt give me enough time to think about it because he pulled me close and attached his chapped lips to mine. I melted into the kiss that I have missed for so long. His hands moved from my wrists to my lower back where he tried to pull me closer as my fingers found themselves knotted into his hair that was long over due for a trim. "I love you." 

a/n ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sorry for not posting in like years but i never finished it and now i did finish this chapter and i feel like im on cloud 9

anyways i love you all and i have 2k reads holy ball sakcsss ahhhhhhhhh