Try Hard

Chapter 7

I peeled my eyes open I lay in bed looking up at the ceiling holding Louis’s jacket tightly to my chest the cinnamon stingy my nose. I don’t want to move from the warmth of my bed. I did exactly that. Throughout the day I heard footsteps pass by my room and leave the front door opening and closing then the house was quiet and empty. Even with me in it didn’t feel alive and happy just empty.

I miss him. I tried not to miss him. Believe me I tried to just forget all about him. But I couldn’t my thoughts kept going back to him. The way he smiled. The way we looked at me. The way he held me. Every little thing made me ache in pain. It felt like I couldn’t live without him.

But I know I can because I have lived without him before. I was perfectly fine without him. I lived the normal life, not worrying about my parents being this mad at me. I did my homework, I passed my classes, and I even got along with my sister. But now it seems as if everyone has turned their backs on me. Or maybe I turned my back on them.

I decided to get some homework done and then maybe just maybe I can forget about him. I finished all my homework even the assignments scheduled for the following week but I still felt cold and empty. I felt as if I had no one and that no one wanted to have me. I felt as I just stayed in my room forever no one would notice they would all forget.

I lay back in my bed the covers wrinkled and clumped around me as I watched the fan spin around and around on the ceiling. Maybe I should go out. Maybe I should get something to eat. Maybe I should just forget about him and apologize to my family for my horrible behavior. Maybe living a life with Louis in it isn’t the life I should live.

Finally I made my decision. I got up off my bed and changed out of my pajamas. I stepped in the shower letting the water wake me up. I tried to feel something. But I couldn’t but maybe I can pretend to feel something. I stepped out of the shower and pulled on some jeans and slipped a sweater over my head and pulled my hair back in a band. I picked up Louis’s jacket feeling the smooth leather in my hand and hung it up in my closet behind all my old clothes that I barely wore. I slipped my feet into my boots and walked down stairs just as my mother opened the front door.

Her eyes looking up at me she opened her mouth as if to say something but then closed it. I shifted uncomfortably as she turned and closed the door and walked to the kitchen without even glancing at me. I watched as she placed her bags on the counter and opened the fridge getting ready to prepare dinner.

“Sorry.” I croaked out.

“For what?” she said with no emotion.

“For not listening.” I said my voice sounding small.

“Okay.” She said.

“That’s all?” I asked my eyes wide.

“What do you want Ellie? Do you want me to hug you and tell you everything is all right? That I still love you and no matter what you do I’m fine with it?” she said placing a knife on the counter and finally looking up at me.

“No. It’s just that I thought…” I said my voice trailing off.

“Just please stop talking about it.” She sighed heavily and went back to preparing dinner.

I just thought that maybe she would at least smile at me and tell me everyone makes mistakes but I guess that I don’t even get that. I knew it wouldn’t have gone like that. But I thought maybe just maybe she would show more emotion. I turned and walked back up to my room, I don’t know why she was like that it was one thing that I did that didn’t go as she planned. She makes it seem like I ruin everyone’s life because I got of course for a little while. I might as well just ignore everything and just go back to my normal life with ignoring everyone and just doing what I’m told.

I stepped back in my room the darkness making me feel like I belonged I closed the door and pushed my back against it and slid down to the floor. My eyes stinging and throat burning but no tears came out. I placed my head in my lap and closed my eyes the weight on my shoulders finally crushing me.

Louis’s POV:

Why am I here? Why am I doing this? This is fucking pointless no one is here but me looking fucking ridiculous leaning against my car with a fucking delivery of god knows what. It’s fucking cold and I’m just standing in an abandoned building the roof leaking the rain water that is pounding down outside. Once the bastard gets her I just give him the delivery and I can leave and go on with the rest of my fucking day.

Finally I saw the headlights of cars pulling into the building as two black SUVs pulled up about ten feet away from me. I stayed leaning against me car waiting for them to get out of the car. A few bulky muscular guys stood out of the car guns on their belts and bigger ones in there and then a man with dark hair and eyes stepped out behind him with a suit. He walked towards me his friends trailing behind me as more of them came out of the second car.

“So your Broach’s new delivery boy?” he asked coolly with a wicked smile.

“Can you just get your shit.” I said irritated that they are late.

“You’ve got a mouth on you.” He said his smile sending chills down my spine.

“No shit Sherlock.” I said popping the truck where silver cases lined the trunk.

The man nodded his head towards the trunk and the men walked over grabbing all the cases out of the trunk and one brought one case to the man standing before me. He opened the case as I tried to look over the cover but at the angle I was in I couldn’t see shit.  His face turned into a wicked smile as he shut the case and looked over at me sharply.

“Watch your mouth kid. Or else you won’t have it anymore.” The man said with an evil smile. I rolled my eyes and got back into my car as she drove off.

This was some weird shit I have no fucking clue what I got myself into and I don’t want to know. I drove down the street not knowing where I’m going just driving under the darkening sky. I just drove until I arrived in front of her house I couldn’t I couldn’t put her in this position. I watched as she walked around her room her window wide open making me cringe at the thought of other people seeing her as they drove by. She looked like she was getting ready she slipped off her shirt revealing a white bra making me catch my breath and then slipped on a dress with a lace collar she looked so delicate and fragile. She turned and looked out the window her hair blowing slightly. Then I realized her window was open. She stuck her head out and looked down. What the hell is she doing? She tooled a step back and turned off her light and then crawled out the window, her dress billowing in the wind.

Then she jumped. Shit. I was just about to open the car door when she appeared from behind a tree with a smile and walked to a car that was parked in front of the door and opened the door and got in. The car pulled away and I followed behind it. Where the fuck is she going? I followed as the car weaved out of the town and into the country side, then I realized where she was going. How can I be so stupid?

I pulled up into the gravel road and parked I got out the cool wind sending chills and I walked across the dirt road and a cup was placed in my hand as I stepped into the barn. The music was blasting as people drank and danced.

“Louis!” a familiar voice called me and I jerked my head.

A familiar girl was rushing towards me her light purple hair falling round her face as her tight clothing clung to her. “Harry said you weren’t coming?” she pouted.

“Well I’m here aren’t I?” said rudely.

“Oh I missed you Louis.” She said grabbing my arm and pulling me closer to her breath smelling of beer.

“That’s cool.” I said looking around.

The rest of the group is over there. But I have other things planned for us.” She smirked pressing herself against me.

“And what’s that?” I said downing my beer; I’m going to have to be drunk for this.