Various X Male or Non-Binary Reader

Arthur Kirkland - I Was Tired...

!!!WARNING!!!
This oneshot may be triggering for som readers. If you are uncomfortable with: depression, heavy topics, or possibly suicidal topics. Please don't read.

A/N) more vent writing... Sorryyy.

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I was tired...

It was raining. Perfect weather for a mood like this. I sat by the window of my apartment. Tired and most of all depressed. I slowly stood from my perch and walked to my counter. My daily meds carefully distributed and measured for me and my illness.

I sighed and took my daily dose chasing them with water. I closed my water bottle and shuffled back to my spot. Usually I'd be reading or watching the Telly. But I could barely push myself to take my meds, let alone switch my TV to a reminder of the fucked up world I lived in.

I was tired...
I sat in my spot next to the window, looking at te gray bleak sky. Watching the nature as I slowly draped my favorite blanket around my shoulders, searching for something to try and better my mood. But to no avail. All I felt was a melancholy bleakness.

I felt my eyelids grow heavy, but I wasn't tired. At least not physically. Mentally I was tired of my boring life as a writer, waiting for my fiancé to come home just to ignore me because of how hard he worked. How long he'd be away for his meetings. I always felt he was cheating. But I knew my Arthur wouldn't. He loved me. He said it everyday without fail. But, why was it becoming so hard to believe?

I was tired...

I rested my head against the window pane. I felt the whispers clawing at the prescribed wall. My phone buzzed. My eyes moved over to device. I lifted my hand to reach, but stopped. My brows furrowed. The whispers broke through.

'They don't care.'

'Arthur doesn't love you.'

'It's all a lie.'

I curled into myself. Searching for warmth in myself. I let the phone buzz. The electronic vibrating on the window sill. The screen lit up with Iggy's face, smiling brighter than anything I could force. I felt a spark in my chest, but before it could ignite it was swallowed by darkness as the whispers went again.

'He doesn't care.'

'He dated you in pity.'

'Marrying you because he's sure you'd off yourself without him.'

I was tired...

I felt those hot tears well in my eyes. I raked my hands through my hair. My throat closing as my voice grew hoarse.

"Shut up! Sh-shut up!" I yelled. I pulled my hair whispers became screams that drowned my cries. I ran my fingers to my ears, covering them in some hope that they could keep those harsh words away.

I was tired...

I stumbled to my prescriptions I raked my hands over the endless bottles of promised relief. I found the one that handled my auditory hallucinations and opened one pouring the bottles contents onto the onyx counter. I scooped up a handful swallowing as many as I could. I knew there could be problems... But...

I was tired...

---Arthur's POV---

I grew worried of (M/N). He hasn't answered his phone when I called this morning. I always worried for my Rose when I was away on business. He'd been quite a nutter lately and I could only worry as I felt (M/N) slipping away.

I fidgeted in the back of the taxi. I had been away for a fort night in Germany. All the while wondering if my brilliant writer was alright.

We soon pulled up to my lad and I's shared flat. I quickly took my baggage from the boot and hustled to my flat door. I knocked on the door thinking possibly (M/N) would answer. After a long wait I began to panic.

"(M/N)? Open up Darling. I'm home." I called. With no answer.

I searched my luggage for my keys finally finding them I hurried and unlocked the flat.

I barged in to see a light on in the loo.

"(M/N)?" I called. I heard a quiet sob and dropped my bags. Barging into the lit room.

"Oh love..." I felt my heart drop.

(M/N) sat his back to the tub. His face buried in his hands. I kneeled down to his side, slowly grasping his hand.

"(M/N). (M/N) love. Please look at me." I pressed. (M/N) seemed startled at first but looked up.

"I-Iggy?" He stuttered. He began crying again.

"I-I'm sorry Iggy... I was just so tired..." He sobbed crawling into my arms. I rocked his back and forth.

"Shh, shh, it's okay love. I know you're tired My Rose... I know." I pressed a small kiss to his forehead. Still holding him close.

After a long while (M/N) calmed down only looking on bleakly to the door. I still held him close humming his favorite song softly.

"Arthur?" He asked. I ceased my tune and listened.

"Yes love?" I countered.

"Y-.... Y-you're not marrying me out of fear? Are you?" He asked.

I thought a moment before I spoke.

"I am. But in fear of loosing the most important person in my world. I love you till death do us part Darling. And nothing can change that, you hear?" I said. A small smile graced his features as he wiped his own tears.

"I hear..." He said. I carefully helped him up. We shuffled to our shared bed where we both lay. I hadn't bothered to change my clothes, only caring if my (M/N) was alright.

He nuzzled into my collar, tangling his legs with mine. His breath mixing with mine as I gave him a quick snog.

"Did you take your meds today love?" I asked. (M/N) nodded.

"I kept hearing the whispers though Iggs... And I was so tired." He whispered in the dark.

"Did you take more that prescribed?" I asked. (M/N) reluctantly nodded. I furrowed my brows unsure what to say.

"I-I'm sorry Iggy..." He sobbed. I ran my hand up and down his back. Trying to soothe my lad.

"It'll be okay love... You're alright. Just please don't do it again. I know you were just trying your best to help yourself. It'll be okay." I coped. (M/N) sniffled softly as his breathing evened I hummed his favorite song again. Watching his (e/c)ed eyes disappear beneath his eye lids. I looked down at My Rose. Taking in the perfectly imperfect lad I loved. I smiled to myself before sleep over took me as well.

I knew (M/N) was tired.
Tired of the dreary days.
Tired of work.
Tired of family.
Tired of the pills.

Just tired.

But with me, he could sleep.

"I love you (M/N)..."