Poetic Excuses

Knowing I'm Important

Everyday, someone tells me I'm unimportant. Whether it be someone on my blood family, or some kid at school, they tell me I am useless. How childish I am and how it is impossible for someone to love me or look up to me. How I shouldn't have been created, or how I piss everyone off, they still remind me. I actually let their voices sink into my head so I have something to keep me strong. When I am feeling weak, it plays the audio over and over, thinking it will help me grow stronger. It doesn't. It makes it worse. I shake it off temporarily and get done what needs to be done. School days are the days I look forward to anymore. The days where I see the two people that keep me going.
Recently I have been questioning them. Three people I used to look up to and that third just separated the other day. Now there are two. I realized they find me as an important aspect in their life.
I am the kind of person who wants to know they are important. The person who feels weak and wants to be told they are strong. I'm the person that wants to find out in some way they are important. Whether they are told to their face they mean something, or overhear a conversation with their name in it. When someone mentions me in their conversation in a good way, I feel loved. I know that the person mentioning my name actually cares about me.
You can tell me I am useless, but to them, I am their half. You can say I am ugly, and I'll believe you. Tell me how weak I am, I'll listen. But when it comes to them, I know they are all that matter. The know how useful I am, how beautiful I am on the inside, and how strong I can be. They are all that matter. You can't tell me they don't care.
I love to know how important I am to people. How comforting I can be. The two people that matter most don't think of me like that. But even if they do....

I know that DrCasHolmes and lion_inferno care about me in some way.

Even if they care about how dumb I am, I love them and that will never change.