Mindscape

rant

You know, I'm just really fucking tired of being compared to my older brother. Every time anything happens to me, it's always, "Oh Taylor was like this," or "Taylor did it this way, "Taylor Taylor Taylor blwqpaufbt!!!"

And especially with college stuff! Taylor sucked at college, lost his scholarships early, failed a bunch of classes, had to push back his estimated graduation date, etc., etc. Now that I'm in college, my parents compare everything I do to what my brother did when he first started. It's always, "Don't be like your bother!" and "This is what Taylor did but you need to do this instead!"

I'm getting fucking sick of it! Am I not allowed to be my own person? Am I not allowed to do things my own way? Am I never going to be allowed to step out from my brother's shadow?
Because it's been like that my whole life. No matter what I did, Taylor seemed to outshine me in every way. I started taking piano lessons, a year later he did too but he quickly passed me up in the practice books. I was writing half decent poems in grade school, he writes a fucking detailed movie script. And don't get me started on how much better he was at soccer, even when I practiced more than he did.

I feel like no matter what I do I will always be in my brother's shadow.