Trouble ; Kim Taehyung

(Jungkook)

    |f l a s h b a c k|

    I'll be on the verge of throwing myself off a cliff if I stay here any longer. I hate it when Adults talk about useless things around a kid. It makes you feel like you're the most stupid thing on Earth. But to be less harsh on myself, they're like Aliens, in the form of humans, speaking some kind of intergalactic language which brings you nothing but severe boredom. I'm not the center of their conversation which makes it easier to slip away from the grasp of their binding words. I'm a decent kid, but not for these situations. I've made my mind and I strongly wish to abide by it: I'd rather get scolded later on than die in a seat which had already formed to the shape of my ass.

Adults don't get kids. They just don't.

    I wonder off far away from the table we were seated at and it's I'm starting to feel like I'm going through a maze. I started off well, knowing that I have a way back, but as the distance continues to reel in, I'm in the middle of a forest. Left, Right. Right, left. In front of me, then at the back. Only trees are surrounding me. I stand dumbfounded, trying to wake myself up if ever this was a dream. When I gather all the missing pieces of my consciousness, I realize that I am so lost. I start to trail myself back from where I came from but it seems like this place is playing with me. I have been going around the same trees just as many times as I've went up and down our marble staircase for the past ten years.

    When futility builds up to my shoulders, I stop and I sit beside a tree, crushing the weeds that cover it's bulging roots. I guess I'm not going to die in an ass shaped chair after all, nor die from charging off a cliff. I'm dying here in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by plants and insects. I bet no one even cared enough to notice that I was missing.

    It's fascinating how adults go through some rough times and get over them, find someone they love, get a baby and suddenly become this big, powerful human who is always right when it comes to their child. I know that they have their fair share of worries but so am I. They have their worries in what they call 'educating' me so I could survive. But the more they do it, the more ironic it gets cause the way they do it is like pointing a sword at me on one end of the plank faced head on to the vast sea only inhabited by sharks, piranhas, and other deadly sea creatures.

    What I also know is that by thinking this, I am officially being self-centered. I may be brazen to say this but I am nowhere near the peak of backing down. Society. It's always gonna be like this. Pressure here, pressure there, you pressure them 'till their hearts have left their souls. It's draining 'you' and filling you up with someone else. As you grow older and have troubles of your own, you'll become oblivious to the point of suffocating someone thinking that it's right because it's happened to you before. I could compare this here with a doctor injecting numbing serums to his/her patients, just that the numbing serums work to remove all life in the the way you live as well as the people you have control over. At this day and age, we can die at the age of twenty but get buried at the age of seventy-five. It's a disease that is about to take over the world. It's worse than the apocalypse.

    I sigh as loud as a lion's roar, sitting still on the gigantic root. I tilt my head, and I am in a daze. When my eyes get blinded, I look up to see that the rays of the big bright ball in the sky are seeping through the holes in between the leaves. They are like little twinkling stars in the day light which hold a value to them. I don't mean the value we see in jewelry but it has worth more than meets the eye. The shine of the sparkling view seem to fill me and lessen the regret in my chest for leaving the table.
If I didn't leave, I wouldn't have come to see such beauty and just drown in my older relatives' expectation of me.

What do I want?

I just want to live.

Breathe.