Crazy,Awkward,Sweet

Cop Out Coward

"Mom, I beg of you!" I whined, "Please go back to your room and watch tv or text one of your lovers!"

My mom scoffed and continued to ignore me. She sat next to Nate and relayed all my embarrassing childhood stories. But I prefer to call them the nightmares of adolescent past.

"Matey was the cutest little baby. She had these chubby little cheeks that you couldn't help but pinch. And when she always giggled when she far-"

"MOTHER!" I exclaimed, jumping to my feet. "Can you not?"

"Fine-fine." mom waved me off. I sighed in relief as she stopped from officially humiliating me.

"If you don't mind me asking," Nate said politely, contrasting his first impression with me. "How did you come up with Matey's name? It's a little unusual if I do say so."

My eyes widened in alert. I knew where there story was going. If only I could back track it to nonexistence. But even I knew when to raise that little white flag, because my mom happily dove in the story.

"Pirates-"

"Oh god." I groaned.

"I was working at Disney world in Orlando as a teenager. I was one of those ride operators. Anyway so my ex boyfriend was obsessed with pirates and he played captain hook so it was like his dream come true." She said, reminiscing her days dating a complete loon.

"You dated a pirate? " Nate raised his eyebrow. Mom nodded, enthusiastically.

"He was the love of my....he was the....look, I loved him for about six months." She sighed, when she failed at sounding romantic. "So Hook-that's what everyone called him- He and I had a bet one day. It was silly really." She shrugged.

"Mom I think that's enough!" I cried out, fearing what was coming next. Mom scoffed and shook her head, refusing to stop.

"Hook had bet me, that I wouldn't go skinny dipping in the Seven Seas Lagoon at midnight." Mom said ignoring me, "The terms were simple. If I did it, then Hook would have to streak through epcot."

"And his terms?" Nate asked.

"I would name my first child Matey." she muttered flatly.

"Why would you ever take that bet!" I cried out in frustration, as I always did when this story was told.

"Because I seriously thought it would be funny to see him streak. To be fair though, I didn't expect to have an actual kid." she defended herself.

"But if you had Matey after you and Hook broke up, then why did you hold up with the deal?" Nate piped in with reason. Mom smiled softly and turned to me.

"Because I am a woman of my word....and Matey means friend. When I held her the first time, I knew I wasn't just her mother. I would be her friend too, because my love for her was limitless." she said, turning back to Nate satisfied with her reasoning.

"Well, I think it's a great name." Nate nodded, "She's one of the best friends anyone could ever have. The name is fitting."

I smiled, despite his words cutting deep. It was a sweet gesture, and possibly the nicest thing anyone had ever said. I should be grateful and flattered by his words. But all I felt was...rejection.

***
"You know Chewy, I think romance is overrated. What's so great about falling in love? I think we're better off alone, because it has so many perks." I said to Chewy as we finished watching She's All That.

"When you're single, you don't have to worry about Valentine's day. Or remembering dates for anniversaries. Oh and you don't have to wax your peach fuzz." I listed off, in an attempt to lift my spirits.