Fascination - JB

Feels

July 4th, 2016
*this actually happened FYI*

I went out to my garage, opening the garage door to let in the summer day light. I sat in on of the chairs, just chilling until a black SUV parked outside my house. I grabbed a baseball bat for protection.

Justin pops out from the back seat, smiles at me, "may I use your restroom?" He asks. I let him inside the house and direct him to the restroom. Internally, I'm flipping out because Justin Bieber is using my bathroom.

He comes out from the restroom, "do I know you?" He asks.

I shook my head, "no,"

"You sure? I could've sworn I have met you before," goodness gracious his smile is so beautiful.

"I think I would have remembered meeting you," I laughed.

Somehow, I ended up in his lap with Esther between us, his as wrapped around my waist and his forehead pressed against mine in an embracing kind of way. We talked about life, what he desires most, what he's genuinely afraid of. When I was listening to him, he seemed surprised that I was actually hearing him out.

He told me how much of a blessing I am to him. How lucky he was to have stumbled across someone like me. His warmth and genuine attitude made my heart flutter.

I heard banging and crashing. I was confused for a moment.

"I have seen you before," he says. More banging and crashing all around me. "I've seen you in my dreams, I hope to see you for real, I need you in my life,"

Everything disappeared and to my dismay, it was all a dream. I'm crying right now because I wonder if I actually am in his dreams. Dreams like these, they're so realistic and so soul touching, it physically and mentally messes with my head because I think it's real.

I cried for hours because I don't know if I'll ever have that chance.

And it doesn't help that my mom and everyone else thinks I'm stupid and pathetic for crying about it.

I've been there for the Buzzcut for years now. Since 09' I've been by his side, defending him. They've laughed at me, made fun of me because I've been there for him. What's so funny about standing someone? Tell me what's hysterical about it. I'll be there for him because I believe in him. I believe he can change the fucking world.

I love Justin so much and it pains me knowing he's lonely and that he feels unheard, unwanted. I want to be there for him. Listen to him. Because I know that's what he wants most.