Fascination - JB

Make Up

August 17th, 2016

About a year ago...

Your POV

Justin had proposed to me. I, of course, said yes. I could say I'm the happiest girl alive; engaged to the man I love more than anything in the world.

"Baby, how do you like this one?" He asks. I look around after being torn away from my thoughts. The massive house is empty, with an echo of Justin's voice bouncing off the white walls. He asked - no - told me that we're getting a new house house together, so today, we were house hunting. This house had five bedrooms, three and a half bath, large living room, ball room with a black sleek grand piano, dining room, "boy's lounge" as Justin calls it, massive kitchen, large back yard for the dogs and it's in a gated community. It was honestly too much but breath takingly beautiful. "Justin, I - don't you think this is too big for us? And the dogs?" I ask with a small giggle. "I mean, it's so beautiful-" "babe I wasn't planning on it being just us. We'll build our own family here. There is more than enough room," he smiles wildly before kissing my forehead.

I laughed. I adore how family oriented he is. Such a beautiful trait a man could possibly have.

"I love it," I finally answered. "And I love you. Let's go get Paula and let her know we'll take it," Justin's arm wrapped around my shoulders as mine wrapped around his torso. I can't wait to have a family of my own.

Present day...

My phone rang. I was in the middle of making dinner. "Shit," I wiped my hands on a towel before seeing who was calling. My eyes rolled to the back of my head, declining the caller. It was my mother. She's been smothering me about my dating life and how I should just "go out there" and "be spontaneous as I used to be"...

Justin and I broke up.

No...

Actually, he left. He left and never told me why or what was going on. He left. With no explanation. No phone calls at all. All I know is that he's on tour. Found out that through social media. How fucking fantastic, right?

He left me with the house. The empty fucking house. He left me with the dogs as well, not that they aren't good company. The only noise ever around here are the dogs barking, the television playing or me cooking.

And that's all I've been doing here; cooking, cleaning, watching television and cuddling with the dogs.

Saying I am pissed off is an understatement. I'm still broken after a year. Never once heard from Justin. The only time I see him is if he was on TV. And sometimes, I can't stand seeing his stupid perfect face on the screen. I'd even occasionally google old photos of us, just to torture myself more.

What did I do? Why did he run out on me? I thought everything was going perfectly for us. Why would he propose then flee like I have a contagious disease? I thought he loved me.

I was at my worst the first few months. I was a trainwreck. People asked about Justin and I, and I wouldn't know what to say. I couldn't tell them that he ran out on me two weeks after he proposed and moved into this house together.

Cold feet?

Fucking bastard.

Feeling tears rush down my cheek, I viciously wiped them away. I can't even think of him without crying my eyes out thinking I did something wrong.