Fascination - JB

He Never Says He Loves Me

August 4th, 2016

"Babe?" Jason's voice was faint behind the closed door. I ignored him. I curled up further into my pillow trying to suffocate the sound of his voice. The door finally created open, and Jason's voice whispered, "Y/n? Baby you awake?" Again, I ignored it. Why would he care? He doesn't seem he does.

"I know you're awake, Y/n. You only hide in the pillow when you're ignoring me." Damn him. "What do you want, Jason? Shouldn't you be out with the guys? Getting mindlessly drunk and flirt with other girls?" I mumbled feeling the jealousy pang in my chest.

The bed dipped behind me and the warmth of his hand caresses my waist, lightly squeezing it before rubbing up and down from my ribs to my thigh. He leaned down and I could feel his warm breaths fanning my skin. "Don't be like that, Y/n. I'm home now, doesn't that matter?"

"Do I matter? At all, Jason?" I scoffed, sitting up furiously, I glared at him. Though it's dark in the room, I could still sense that he was taken aback at my sudden out burst. I never have risen my voice to him before. So it kind of scared me that my voice could produce such volume. "Of course you do. If you didn't matter to me, I wouldn't be here or I wouldn't be with you at all." His tone was deep, heavy with anger.

I shook my head, "doesn't seem like it lately, Jase. You're always gone. Always out late at night and don't come home until early morning wasted off your noggin and reak of alcohol. I worry, Jason. I'm scared you're out there getting hurt or doing something that you shouldn't be. Why aren't you ever home, Jason?" I miss you, I wanted to say, but I held it back because I don't know if I could handle any more of the hurt I feel. I couldn't even hold back the tears I has fought hard to keep from falling.

He hadn't said anything. Am I missing something here? "A-are you cheating on me?" I asked as my voice croaked with fear and heart ache.

"I drink. I fight. I rob. I gamble and for fucks sake I even kill, Y/n. But never would I ever fucking cheat on you. You want the truth? As tempting as it is to cheat on you, I could never ever in a million years even think of cheating on you."

"Tempting?" I scoffed in disbelief.

He rolled his eyes. "Yes. You want me to be honest right? Tonight, Khalil wanted me to go to a club with him. He told me he could get me laid by more than two girls at a time. Not that I can't do it on my own, but I turned it down. You know why? Because of you. All I could think of was you. All I wanted to do when I get home from work was to pound your brains out. Tell you that you're absolutely beautiful. Tell you that I fucking love you and only you. I'm so fucking whipped because of you. And I'm scared. I'm scared that one day you'll leave me. You're all that I have, Y/n. I cannot lose you. I will not. No matter what, you're mine. And obviously I have to prove that to you- lay back."

"What?" I was shocked. He loves me?

"You heard me, lay back. Now." His hand pressed lightly but firmly against my chest as I fell back into the bed. My heart pounded against my chest and adrenaline raced through my vein. I shivered due to the chill I felt. Next thing I knew, the sheets were pulled off me and so were my spanx.

Jason's head was between my thighs and I quivered feeling his wet lips making contact with my skin. He looked up to me and his hazel orbs were now black with desire, lust.

Kissing the lips, I shook closing my eyes fisting the sheets beside me. "Already so wet for me," his voice so low it vibrated against me. I whimpered then moaned feeling his tongue touching circling the sensitive nub. My back arched up off the mattress then slated back down feeling myself about ready to orgasm.