Different (a MIKA fanfic)

'Business'

MIKA showed me through the doorway and gave me a quick tour of the room. "And on your left are the guitars. I heard you play. Is that true?" He asked curiously with a serious look on his face.

"Yeah." I answered looking down and becoming embarrassed for the first time since I met him.

"You sing too right?" He asked stepping a little close to me. I don't think he knew that I noticed so I ignored it.

"Yeah" I replied still looking down. I was becoming nervous.

Suddenly thoughts came rushing into my head of the last time I played the guitar. It was with my mum. She was drunk and angry. I didn't remember much and never wanted to. It definitely was one of the worst times with her.

"Are you ok?" He asked, closer to me then before but I didn't notice him move for my eyes being squeezed shut to try and block the visions of that night.

I nodded, trying to convince both of us though we both knew I was lying.

MIKA paused awkwardly, not knowing what to do. I looked up to him and forced a smile.

"Well what are you waiting for? I wanna hear it!" He tried to lighten the mood and nudged me gently.

I hesitated. It was a big deal to just go and play like that. It was becoming harder to stop the memories and I could feel my eyes prickling at the flashing images. I looked back to the ground to hide it.

He said nothing but pulled me against him. He was warm and all I could do was hug him and sob into his shoulder.

He didn't know me yet he was so caring towards me. I felt that I could let my guard down around him and be supported. It was a strange and unfamiliar feeling.

"Ross?" MIKA asked after a minute.

I nodded against him.

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong? No pressure but I'm here if you want" he seemed shy. Again, it was strange and unfamiliar. Why was he shy? Why did he look in awe when we first met? None of it made sense. It was my job to be amazed by him and shy around him. I was the fan.

"My mum..." I began. I didn't know where I was going to start or how much to say but anything I could get out would show him my trust in him. I was vulnerable but I knew he had good intentions. I could feel it. "One night. She was drunk. Angry. I was playing guitar. She was annoyed. She... I... I don't want to say anymore" I told him. All the thoughts were jumbled and crazy. My heart was racing. I felt horrible but it was muted while in his arms.

"Ok..." he trailed off, uncertain on where to go with what I had told him.

"You don't have to say anything" I mumbled. I was getting more comfortable being so close to him and just him being there was enough.

After a few minutes I stepped away and looked around at the room. I was only going to be here with him for one day and I had to make the most of it. I needed to suck it up and enjoy my time without getting too attached to MIKA. He was only going to leave after this day together.

"I'll play" I sighed.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes" I grabbed the guitar and went for it.

He smiled at me and listened contently. When I put the guitar back down, he hugged me and rubbed my back. I rested my head against his chest and could hear his heart pounding. Mine was too but he was MIKA! The one and only. The one I wished I could be. I wished I could be a small part of his life. I loved him. In a fan sort of way but I still loved him. He was acting similarly to how I wanted to but I was less confident.

It was strange to me that he was acting in this way. I'm a boy. He knows that right? I started to panic because the last thing I wanted was to be seen as a girl. Most people see me as a girl. I'm not one though. At least not on the inside.

He stepped away. "You're good. Amazing voice and brilliant guitar." He said looking into my eyes. I just looked at him for a minute. How did I end up here? MIKA's face was perfect. I just watched him as he watched me.

"Do you two need anything?" Asked the short man who showed me in when I first got here as he peered round the door.

"Uh no thanks" MIKA replied, he looked like the man's question made him jump. He turned back to look at me before asking me if I wanted anything. I asked for a glass of water and watched as the man left the room again.

I looked back at MIKA who was looking right back at me. I just started to play and sing again.

MIKA joined in at the chorus and then I stopped singing and played guitar. I wanted to hear him sing.

When we finished the song, MIKA just left the room with no reason. I looked out the window and saw him appear. He sat down and pressed a button.

"Hello and welcome to Ross radio." he grinned in a ridiculous low voice, the sound coming through a little speaker in the booth. He then laughed and came back in. "It can be a good joke in here!" He said setting up two microphones, two stools, a keyboard and plugging in the guitar that I still had in my hands.

He took it off me and held my hands before leading me out to the room with all the switches. He pressed a button and I could hear one of his songs playing.

We danced around goofily for a while before the short man came in and asked how we were getting on with things.

"Good. We might need to come back tomorrow though." MIKA responded looking at me with a cheeky grin on this face. My whole body tingled.