Different (a MIKA fanfic)

Back again

When I woke up, I was alone. I was about to call for MIKA but then I heard him singing. I got up quietly and snuck into the kitchen. He was dancing and singing to grace kelly on the radio. I couldn't help but laugh. I knew he would hear me so I ran up to him and joined in.

"What a great song. Congratulations to... MIKA. Every time I hear it I just want to dance around!" I heard the person on the radio say.

"I agree. Wonderful song!" I almost shouted whilst walking away to go and get ready.

Once I got back I crept up behind him and kissed his cheek.

"Good morning cutie" I whispered into his ear.

"Right back at you!" He whispered and I laughed. "Here, have some food and let's get going. We need to get some lyrics today!" He said walking to the table where all sorts of breakfast foods were laid out.

Once I ate, we drove back to the studio and got straight back to where we left off the day before when we had a piano and guitar part.

We messed around with some tunes until we had a chorus, a verse and a bridge. I then let him start to try some lyrics.

Once we had played through the whole song a few times, we started recording and were done by lunch.

"Let's listen!" I shouted as I jumped towards him.

He pressed play and I held his hands as we danced around like we did the day before.

We danced until we needed to eat and when we were about to go and get some food, I stopped him and turned him around.

"After what was said yesterday, I was wondering if we could make this official. Will you be my boyfriend?"

"Yes! " he squeaked and we burst out laughing on our way to the car.

I opened his door and held it for him. I loved being chivalrous because it made me feel better. Before closing the door behind him, I gave him a quick kiss. 

I got in on my side of the car and put my hand on his lap as he drove. We both smiled the whole journey and on the way back to his house after.

I was so happy to have someone who likes me for me and calls me by my chosen name and correct pronouns. I wished that he could be at school with me the week after to support me and show people how to refer to me correctly.

When we arrived at his house I wanted to ask him if he would help me to sort things out at school. MIKA was a few years older than me so he had finished school but I was still there. It was torture but I knew that I could talk to MIKA about it and he would make me feel better.

I had only known this man since yesterday yet I loved him so much... I just hadn't told him yet.

We had been sat on his bed for a few minutes after being super full from lunch. I decided to ask him to help me at school.

"Would you help me with something please gorgeous?" I asked him. I didn't look at him because I felt nervous and tingly from sitting so close.

"Yeah. Anything. Fire away!" He smiled. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him turn to me.

"Will you help me to sort things out at school please. I can't do it alone. I've tried." I said sadly. I felt a tear drop from my eye. I hated being trans. I just wished I was born as a boy in the first place.

"Ross." he whispered, clearly with a lump in his throat "I will help you. I wanted to anyway but now that you have asked I will definitely help. First, Ross, will you tell me why you are crying. It will be ok."

I felt stupid. I knew it would be ok at school but I just wanted to be a man. I wanted the outside to match the inside and it couldn't properly. I felt dysphoric and I was annoyed.

"I know it will be ok, at school at least... but I just feel bad. I don't like that I was born a girl. You're lucky; you were born a man. You have all the right parts. I don't." After I said that, I broke down and he pulled me close.

He leaned in and kissed me. I wasn't expecting him to react in this way. I liked it though so I kissed him back.

I think that we kissed for a while because when I went to get my phone after we pulled away, I had some missed calls from my mum. I couldn't deal with her so i ignored them. It was Friday and I was hoping to stay with MIKA as long as possible.

I did love him after all.