Dead Inside

the joy of wearing black

Chris pov

We were standing there in a hug. What more could I want? But I was sad when she pulled away a little to soon for my liking.

"I-im sorry." She said blushing as she looked down. Did she just blush for me? No way. "It's OK love I actually enjoyed that." She just looked up an gave me a heart racing smile. (if my heart was beating).

Three days later

Three days had now passed and it was the day of her fathers funeral. I remember what it was like not having anyone else there. So I decided to go with Emily. Because it was moments like this she shouldn't have to be alone.

Fate is fucked up. It's not her fault both our families are dead.

"You ready?" I asked her. "You? Your not coming." She said. "It's moments like this your shouldn't be alone." I said smiling. She just rolled her eyes and tried to walk past me. But I quickly grabbed her without thinking.

I pulled her into a hug. "I'm here for you." I whispered into her ear as she shivered from what I was hoping was pleasure. "Let's just go." She said looking into my eyes.

At graveyard

The car ride there was silent. She didn't talk an I just stared. At everything. I may have a problem.

When we got to the graveyard I had to stop myself from crying. So. many. Memories.

She got out and looked around. There was no one else here. And that was even more sad.

We walked deeper into the graveyard and found her dad's casket. There are supposed to bury him after she leaves.

She just stood there staring not saying anything or even crying. She threw the rose she had onto his casket and turned to look at me. Her eyes. Looked so dead inside. Maybe I can bring that light back.

"I don't know why I'm not crying." She said. "It happened to me your in shock and don't know how to react." I told her. She just nodded and pulled me into a hug. Now I could get used to this. But this time I pulled away. I had something to show her.

"Come on." I said as I grabbed her hand. "Where?" She asked. "You'll see." I said as we started to walk to the other side of the graveyard.

Once we got over there she stopped and looked around. "This is my family." I said looking down at the graves in front of us. "that's my mom, dad, brother and sister and right there is m-me." I said feeling tears in my eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to go through all that." she said. "Don't be I've gotten over it." I said. "why did you show me this?" She asked. I wasn't sure why I did. But somehow I felt I could trust her.

"I'm not sure ma-maybe to prove that if I'm okay you will be too?" I said completely unsure. "That was sweet of you." She started. "But it's gonna take a while to put the light back into my eyes." She said.

This made me sad but then an idea clicked. I'm dead I got nothing to live for anymore. I'm broken so maybe I could help her. Yes, it sounds stupid. But with me around she wouldn't be sad.

"Let's go." I ushered as she gave me a confused look. "What's the rush?" She asked. "Just to many memories." I said actually not lying. Coming back here to THIS spot just made me sad.

In car

We finally left after she said goodbye to her dad one last time. After letting a few tears slip. We were now in the car. With the radio low.

It was on some country crap but she quickly changed it to punk rock anf started to sing along. I couldn't help it I did too. And me both ended it by looking at each other and bursting into laughter. Now theres that pretty smile. That just proves that she can still be healed. It will take a lot. But it's not impossible. No nothing really Ever is.