the GazettE Members x Reader One-shots

Early Goodbye. Ruki x Suicidal!Reader

Warning: very sad & dramatic story. Sorry for any mistakes in advance.
NOTE: story contains harmful and suicidal material, please do not attempt. ♡

-

(y/n)'s p.o.v.

Just swallow.
I took a big gulp of water and comfortably swallowed.
I sat in my room and stared at the floor. I felt lost, lonely, worthless. Everyone I once loved, kicked me aside like I was nothing, always shut me out. Other than shut outs came along and things got harder for me.
I would always take a walk when nobody wanted me or if I wanted to forget everything. I would walk until I get so sleepy, I would go to the nearest park bench and cry myself to sleep there.
"You never tell me you love me! Never!"
"God damn it! Lorraine just shut up!"
Oh no, not again...
My heard my parents start to fight and I felt sick to my stomach.
They've been fighting a lot lately. Apparently, my mom thinks my dad is having an affair with his assistant at work, I too think so. He has stopped being affectionate to my mom and it's hurting her, and me.
I have no friends that truly care about me, I have no relatives to talk to, and my family has lost who they are.
I have one friend I usually run into while wandering around, his names Takanori, he told me to call him, Ruki. He says him and his friends are trying to start a band. And I really liked Ruki. I could talk to him like I've known him for years, even though, its only been two months since I known him.

"If I didn't love you, Lorraine, I wouldn't be married to you!"
I sighed and couldn't stand it anymore. I opened my door and walked down the hall to my sister's room and knocked on her door.
"S-sis!"
I waited a few seconds and finally, the door opened.
"What?" she asked, looking at me annoyed.
"Mom and dad are fighting again."
"(y/n), I already talked to you about it, we can't do anything so let them fight."
I frowned and looked at the ground.
"Just go back to your room-"
"I really need to tell you-"
"Just play your music player and everything will be okay."
She shut the door in my face before I could tell her what I wanted.
I bit my lip and walked down the hall to the living room.

"There's nothing going on!!! You want proof, go talk to Lisa yourself!!!"
"Lisa!!! Lisa!!! LISA!!! YOU JUST LOVE SAYING HER NAME, DON'T YOU!?!"
"SHUT UP, LORRAINE!!! JUST SHUT UP!!!"
I walked past my parents to the front door and out without them noticing me.
"Not only are you hurting me, BUT YOU'RE HURTING (Y/N)! OUR DAUGH-!"
I stopped my slow tracks as I heard my mom stop yelling and the sound of a crash. I peeked through the window and saw my mom on the floor. My eyes widened and tears and fear instantly filled my eyes. I covered my mouth to hold in my sobs and cries, I watched my mom try to get up but she was kicked in her abdomen by my dad. I let out a cry and backed away from the window. I was scared for my mom, I was worried about her, I wanted to go in and help her, but I was too scared. Like a coward, I ran away, crying my eyes out.

There's nothing left to live for, there's nothing left to live for.
I kept repeating those words in my head as I ran and ran.
Thoughts of my life overflowed in my mind and I began to get a headache, seconds later, I felt dizzy.
My pace slowed down, I began to walk instead of run, I stopped at the nearest bench and took a moment to cache my breath.
"Why am I even alive?"
I asked myself between breaths.
My breaths came back to normal as I relaxed my body and took deep breaths.
I looked up at the start sky and wonder if I made the right choice.
"It's pretty late. What are you doing out alone in the dark?"
I heard an all too familiar voice behind me.
"R-Ruki?" my heart skipped a beat as I looked behind me and met face to face with him.

"Parents fighting again?"
He asked
"Y-yeah..." I answered quietly and held in about what I saw.
Ruki sat next to me and wrapped his warm arms around me. I began to cry at the warm and loving feeling in his embrace. I felt comforted and loved. Like someone cared about me.
"I had a feeling you'd be out here,"
I looked at Ruki, wiping my tears away.
"So I came out here and brought this along with me."
He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out what looked like a CD.
"My friends and I made a song and we recorded it. Here."
He handed it to me and I read what was written on.
"the GazettE. The Invisible Wall."
I read out loud.
"That's... a cool song title."
"Thanks. It's our first song, so it may be not the best, but we really like it."
I smiled weakly at him and said, "I-I'm sure it's good."
He smiled at me and kissed me on the top of my head. I felt my face heat up and felt my feelings towards him grow.
"Um, (y/n),"
"Yeah?"
"You're blushing."
"Eh?"
I turned away from him and felt my face heat up again. Ruki gently caressed my face and turned my face to look at him.
"I-I have to admit, you're really pretty and cute when you blush."
Once again, my face felt hot. Probably blushing. I didn't know what to say.
In this moment, I knew I liked him more than a friend, but I didn't know what to do or say. What if he's just saying it as a compliment? Or what if he's falling me too?