You Know (C.C / You)

twenty-five

I've been dreading the thought of telling Camila about Reese and I. About the truth and why we did really move here. I know I'm gonna have to do it soon. Why? Because I'm totally in love with Camila.

Yeah. I've never been in love with someone, so this is all new to me. The weird feeling I get in my stomach when I look - or even think about Camila, it's new. And when she laughs or smiles I can feel my heart speeding up and my stomach doing back flips. It's scary, honestly. Because I'm wondering if Camila loves me back. And I sure hope she does.

I turned the shower off, softly sighing as I wrapped a towel around me and exited. After drying off, I put my clothes on, then exited the bathroom.

I heard, what sounded like, Lady Gaga, playing from my room. An amused smile formed on my face as I slowly walked into my bedroom, towel in hand as I dried my wet hair.

"Poker face!" Camila sung along, dancing and turning around, slightly blushing when she saw me. She continued dancing though, now grinning. "Dance with me!"

I laughed, putting my towel down and taking Camila's hand. I spun her around, causing her to laugh as I pull her back into me. Camila backed up, moving her hips to the beat, and I couldn't help but stare, still smiling. She ran her hands through her hair, bobbing her head back and forth. She opened her eyes, locking them with mine. When the song was over, she walked over to me, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Camila," I murmured, pressing a kiss onto her lips. "I love you."

I stayed still, waiting for her to respond. My eyes were close, and my grip was firm on her hips. I heard her breath hitch, but she didn't move.

"Open your eyes," she softly said, and I did. "I love you, too."

I smiled, softly laughing as I felt my heart flutter. Lady Gaga was still playing in the back round, but I didn't mind it. I kissed Camila again, with more passion and love. Camila kissed back, our eyes shut.

•

"I told her I love her,"

Reese looked at me, eyes slightly wide, "And what did she say back?"

"That she loves me too," I sighed out. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm happy about that. I'm just worried, about when I tell her, that she won't love me anymore."

"Why wouldn't she, Y/N? It's not our fault our childhood was like that," Reese asked.

"I know," I murmured. "But I killed someone."

"If you're not in jail Y/N, that means it wasn't wrong," Reese told me. "It was self-defense. You had to do what you had to do."

I nodded, "Yeah." I went quiet, not really knowing what to say. I had to figure out when and how I was gonna tell Camila.

"Do you ever wonder what life would be like if mom was still alive?"

The sudden question caused me to look at my younger sister, eyebrow raised. I do sometimes think about life if our mom was still alive.

"I don't think we'd be here," I quietly answered. "I think we'd still be in Virginia, living with her and Dad."

"Do you miss her?"

"Of course I do, Reese," I mumbled. "But I think her death was for the better. It shaped us into the people we are today."

Reese nodded, and looked over at Lauren's house. We were sitting in the backyard. It was around eight o'clock, the night sky now above us.

Reese sighed and stood up, "I'm gonna go in for the night."

"Okay," I squeezed her hand, and gave her a small smile. "I love you."

Reese smiled back at me, "I love you too."

•

I waited outside Camila's room, my back against the wall as I listened to her sing, along with hearing the guitar.

"Son you should know, sometimes moms and dads, fall out of love,"

I recognized the song as When You Love Someone by James TW.

"You gotta believe us, it's all for the best,"

I heard Camila suddenly stop, and then her sighing. I bit my lip, staring down at the articles in hand. Was I really gonna do this now?

I knocked on Camila's door, then opened it. Camila looked up at me, and smiled.

"Hey," she glanced down at the papers in my hands. "I missed you. What're those?"

"I missed you too," I sat down next to Camila, staring down at the papers. "Camila, I - how do I put this? I love you, okay?"

"Uh, okay," she awkwardly laughed. "I love you too. Now what's going on?"

"I don't tell many people this," I softly began. "Mostly because I don't trust many people. But I love you, and I trust you. And I'll understand if you don't wanna see me again after you read these - but just know, I love you. And I will always be here for you."

"Y/N," she furrowed her eyebrows. "What's going on?"

I let out a breathy chuckle, "You know at the party, when we were sitting outside by the fire? And you said everyone has secrets?" Camila nodded. "I - well, I think you cracked me, Camila. Because I'm about to tell you my darkest secret."

Camila glanced down at the papers again, then back up to me. She was confused, her eyebrows still furrowed.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I would've told you earlier, but I didn't know if I could trust you. Uhm, just, please don't tell anyone else."

Camila nodded, and I handed her the papers. I was beyond nervous. I was scared. Scared of what a Camila would do, and how she would think of me. What if she decides to leave me? Or decides to tell everyone about Reese and I? No. Camila wouldn't do that to us. I know she wouldn't. I hope she wouldn't.

I watch as different emotions flash over her face, and when she was done reading, she swallowed and looked up at me.

"I - I," she inhaled sharply. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay," she nodded. "I understand why you didn't tell me. And if you think this changes anything - it doesn't. I love you for who you are, Y/N. You killed him because you had to, not because you did it for fun."

"So," I trailed off, my voice soft. "You won't leave me?"

Camila smiled, and put the papers down, "No. I won't. I love you to the moon and back, Y/N Y/L/N."

"It's been awhile since I've heard my last name," I admitted, and Camila cupped my face. "I love you too, Karla."

I cheekily grinned as Camila rolled her eyes, but kissed me none the less.

•••

not edited

and oo

-Gracie