Fate

Chapter 30: Permoda triangle

"His eyes were so cold, shielding the way he can be soft around her. But she was so oblivious to notice. She always was. Because she was blinded by the way he never looks at her."

I didn't sleep all night. Overthinking had a way to turn it all up on me. The bags under my eyes were visible. And I looked like death. I showered before Shady could wake up but still, it didn't ease the way I was feeling. Surely, showers were pretty comforting but my body still felt sore.

I made a mental note to myself to never eat this amount of candies at this time ever again. It was a terrible idea. Period cramps were always the worst part about periods. Except my mood swings. I have major mood swings especially when it's the time of the month. And I'm sure Daniel was pretty smart to notice that too.

I wore black skinny jeans and a pink hoodie, it was already getting gloomy outside, and my health is my number one priority. Ironic, huh?

A sparkly notebook grabbed my attention once again. On Shady's nightstand layed her silver journal that was the reason we are getting along right now. Curiosity got the best of me upon seeing this sparkly rectangular sheets and  my legs betrayed me once again and I found myself walking to it. I grabbed it, softly caressing the calloused cover with my fingertips. On the top was written a huge, "SHADY'S." Like it wasn't already that obvious. I chuckled to myself quitly as I continued to study the journal. The papers were a little crumbled and I was tempted to straighten them up. I hesitated before finally opening the book.

I opened the last page she has written on, I thought that maybe that was the last thoughts on her mind before she drifted to Wonderland. And it'd be a good thing to know what's going on her brain without opening my mouth.

I wasn't really surprised when I found her writing with a sparkly pen that was laying upon her nightstand. Once again, I found myself chuckling at my best friend.

Here we go, I thought.

Title: I'm Not Just A Pretty Face

Date: 24th Of October 2016

I wish people would look past my flaws. Past my face. Past my body. Past being a girl, and past being, "A piece of meat." To them. I want people to look at me and say, "Oh look! That girl is so talented." Rather than, "Man, she's so hot." Because as much as It's nice to be complimented and called beautiful. But it's even nicer to be called smart. I've always wanted people to know that being called pretty doesn't make me feel anything, being called pretty smart does. I wanted people to know that being called pretty, good-looking, or beautiful doesn't make me feel any loved. But, being told, you're PRETTY smart. You have GOOD sense of humor, or that I write BEAUTIFULLY, makes me. I want people to know that being told that my body is "Killer." Doesn't make me feel the way being told I have killer talents does. As much as I'm thankful and grateful to God for giving me such a blessing. But as much too, that I want to be looked at as a human, not just a pretty face.

I frowned upon reading Shady's words. I didn't know she felt that way. And as much as I wanted my whole life to be in her place— Or Hailey's. I'm glad that I have something other people don't. I'm thankful to God. And I think it's time that I'm gonna look at people differently. Not just a body, but a soul.

-0-0-0-0-

At the cafeteria Sebastian was sitting at the table he always sits on. He mentioned something about that it's close to the coffee machine but I didn't complain. But this time was different, he looked really pissed.