Fate

Chapter 45: Mad hatters

"Losing your mother is either because God wants you stronger or because you aren't strong enough.

If you lose her, then you got nothing to lose. You're unbreakable, and at the same time very breakable. Because you lost your best friend and the person that'll love you the most.

It's both heartbreaking and treacherous."

It was 3:00pm when I and Daniel decided to go to my mother's house. I was so nervous and pacing back and forth. It's been a year since I saw my mother. And she didn't call. She didn't text. She didn't ask how I did in college. How I went there. How was my first flight. How was classes. How was the school. Or did I make some friends? She didn't ask me. She didn't bother. Just like she did with Sandra. And the thought itself makes me feel so angry. I wanted to punch a hole into the wall. Express how angry I am at this world. Express my loathe for everything that happened to me. But at the same time, I feel like it all happened for a reason. It's fate that's twisted, I know. And what makes me feel so damn nervous; is that today, marks exactly one year since I left. Today: last year, was the day I left, and today, I'm going to knock on her door... The same door I slammed shut a year ago.

Too much had happened, and one year ago, I left completely heartbroken, devastated and alone. And one year later I came with a boyfriend, and a heart on the verge of healing.

Let's just say I'm not as broken as I was a year ago.

At least when life gets to me, I wouldn't have to sleep alone. I wouldn't have to face it alone. And as I clutched on Daniel's hand next to me, he assured me that it'll be okay—so I knocked on the door.

Seconds later, I heard heavy footsteps and then the door was yanked open. My mother was silent. Her eyes were wide like I was the last one she's expecting. She paused, "Sierra." My mother whispered. I imagined myself several times that I'm gonna run into her, hug her so tightly and tell her how much I missed her and that I'm sorry. And she'd forgive me. But my feet aren't moving. They're stuck to the ground, I can't seem to talk or move.

"Mother." And then she ran into me and hugged me. I have to be honest. That completely took me off guard. I didn't expect the hug to be from her side.

"I'm so sorry, Sierra." I think I even heard a sob.

"What? Why are you sorry for." She now pulled away and told me to get in the house. She noticed Daniel and she arched her eyebrows,

"That's Daniel, my boyfriend." The new title was so foreign on my tongue yet so sweet. She nodded at him and shook his hand.

"What a beautiful young man." She complimented him and I even think he blushed.

"Thanks ma'am." How polite. Please note the sarcasm.

The house looked kind of different. It was more bright and it felt more warm than it has ever been. Like the dull atmosphere isn't here anymore. And my mother didn't actually put on formal clothes at house or makeup because she's opening the door. Something felt kind of weird, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"I'm really sorry I didn't try to contact you more, but I didn't know what to do, you never answered."

"What do you mean? I didn't get anything."